Elder abuse — our unspoken crisis
Charities ● launch campaign to protect UK Jewry’s most vulnerable of Rising number ● is ‘just abuse cases iceberg’ the tip of the
also targeted the elderly.
Among other cases dealt with by Jewish Care is that of Rachel, who contacted the charity to say her husband was “verbally aggressive towards her”. She said that when she fell out of bed, he was aware of the fall but “would not call an ambulance and said she could stay on the floor until the GP arrived in the morning for a pre-arranged appointment”.
A sign of emotional abuse could be depriving a person of their right to make decisions. Or “gaslighting”, an attempt to make someone think they are mad by telling them what they think, see or remember is incorrect.
“If we understand this issue and can identify key signs of abuse, we can reach out to those who may be at risk and seek relevant support for them,” Ms Murphy said.
“It is there — people just need to know where to turn to.”
Physical abuse of an older person can include spitting, hitting, pinching, pushing, inappropriate use of restraints, over-medicating, force feeding or rough handling.
JWA reports that elder abuse “within the context of domestic violence is a very real issue and needs to be recognised as such”.
The charity’s research indicates that a woman typically contacts JWA for support 11-and-a-half years after the abuse starts, a significantly longer timeframe than the national average. Some of its clients have been in abusive relationships for more than 50 years.
Chief executive Naomi Dickson said “people often assume that domestic violence and abuse only happens to young people. In fact, we are seeing increasing numbers of older women.
“For some, they may have been experiencing abuse for decades, but wait until after their husband dies before they feel able to disclose the abuse. For others, the husband may become more abusive as he ages — and for others the abuse begins because he is developing dementia.”
JWA’s oldest client was 86 — and her abusive husband was 92.
Jewish Care cited the case of a couple who had been married for more than 50 years whose relationship had turned violent.
“Mr Cohen was diagnosed with dementia and Parkinson’s, which impacted on his mood and his anger levels.
“He raised his fist to his wife in the past, but she recently called us as he had hit her twice in one week. She is concerned about her safety.”
As an example of neglect, the charity said it received a call from Emma, who was concerned to have discovered that “her dad locks her mum in the house when he goes to the shop, fearful that she might wander off as she has done in the past.
“Emma reported bad smells in the house and evidence of faeces on the floor. Since she contacted us, we have been able to support the family. The dad was struggling to cope. His wife now lives in a care home where she receives the support and care she needs.”
At The Fed, chief executive Mark Cunningham said: “It is a sad reality of the society we live in that we don’t cherish the elderly.
“Most of the cases we see involve people from outside the home preying on vulnerable people. People who doorstep and those who try to charge over the appropriate price for work for replacing a boiler is something we see a lot.”
It is a sad reality that we don’t cherish the elderly’
Online scams were also a problem. “There is an assumption that older people don’t know how to use social media or the internet. They do. They just might not know how to best protect themselves, especially if they are lonely.”
Mr Cunningham said The Fed, which supports more than 500 elderly Jews in the Manchester area, records two to three cases of serious financial abuse annually — with at least one case involving financial abuse from within the family.
“One case is too much. There is this idea that our parents’ money is our money and we have had people emptying the bank account before paying for the care their parents need.
“Self-neglect is very common, especially in relationships where the couple are not getting the right support. If one person is caring for the other, it is typical that they put their partner’s need before their own.” He added that elder abuse “isn’t always expected or talked about” within the Jewish community and people did not know the tell-tale signs.
Liz Bradbury, chief executive of Leeds Jewish Welfare Board, said the charity had established “an elder support service. We man a listening line for older people so they can call and talk to someone about their well-being.”
LJWB also employs a mental health trainer dedicated to spotting early signs of abuse and need.
“Someone’s mental health will deteriorate if they are suffering from abuse.”
She said it was difficult to quantify the extent of the problem because “many cases are going unreported. The low-level abuses happen more often. But that doesn’t mean we don’t see examples of big ones.”
Ms Bradbury had come across many instances of older people being pressured by family members into finding cheaper care options to save money for the inheritance. “The local authorities do not fund the appropriate level of care so inevitably some people cut corners,” she said.
As part of the awareness campaign, Jewish Care will be holding information evenings to help local leaders and others understand more about elder abuse.