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OFTEN, WE are good at looking after the health of others. The harder task may be looking after ourselves. We know certain activities give our wellbeing a boost, such as exercise, meeting friends or communal activities, but the day-to-day requirements of caring for family or friends may mean this is pushed to the bottom of the list. To support our own mental wellbeing, we need to invest in self-care. Here are some suggestions: SOCIAL CAPITAL
Take part in communal activities — perhaps as an exercise class, a PTA or your shul community. Isolation makes us vulnerable, so staying connected has a positive impact on our wellbeing.
SET BOUNDARIES
Be your own best friend, rather than your own worst enemy. In a difficult situation, we may think: “I can’t say or do that/I can’t let x down/they will hate me/I have to say yes”. Challenge these thoughts and ask yourself what you would say to a best friend in this situation. SAY NO
This can feel like an impossible challenge. We are good at saying yes to everybody apart from ourselves. Sometimes we need to re-assess these boundaries and be firmer.
REFRAME “SELFISH” TO “SELF-CARE”
Looking after ourselves or doing something we enjoy can be the first thing to go when we are busy. Start small. Choose an amount of time, say 15 to 30 minutes, and put it into your diary
once a week or fortnight. This time is for you to invest in self-care.
BE REFLECTIVE
Can we name our emotions when we feel them — and think about our responses? Are our responses what we want them to be? If not, what were other options in that scenario? If we replayed that event like a frame in a film, what would we change? You can do this by setting aside time to be thoughtful, while going for a walk, sitting quietly, keeping a journal or diary or, best of all for many of us, during a conversation with someone else.
BE AUTHENTIC WITH THOSE AROUND YOU
Communication is an important part of self-care and, while socialising is helpful for combatting isolation, good-quality communication with the people around us is key. Being honest about how we feel with people we trust and asking them for help when we need it, can make all the difference.
BE A ROLE MODEL
Self-care isn’t just for ourselves. When we invest in our own self-care, we give a green light to those around us to do the same. This is important for our family and friends, people we work with and children — our own and those in the community.
TAKE EXERCISE
Even ten minutes’ brisk walking increases mental alertness, energy and positive mood. Regular physical activity can increase self-esteem and reduce stress and anxiety. There is a 20 to 30 per cent lower risk of depression and dementia for adults participating in daily physical activity.
Unless we look after our own wellbeing, providing care and support for someone close to us will become an even greater challenge. Jami’s Carer Support service understands how hard this can be and offers a variety of help.