The most important parenting discussion
IT IS vital to get new parents talking about postnatal depression — which affects ten to 15 per cent of mothers in the UK in the first year after having a baby. It can also affect fathers. Many cases go unreported, as new mothers and fathers often avoid asking for help, worried they will be judged “bad parents”. Unhelpful comments, such as “all babies cry” and “it will get easier”, can also deter them from opening up.
So how can parents tell if what they are experiencing is postnatal depression or “just baby blues”? Baby blues usually start soon after the birth and can often be attributed to the emotional shock and hormonal surge. Over half of new mothers get baby blues (they may be mildly depressed, very tearful, emotional, anxious and/or irritable) and they usually feel better in a few days to a couple of weeks.
Postnatal depression usually starts within a month or two of having a baby. There is a wide range in severity and symptoms:
Feeling low in mood and tearful, maybe worse at different times of the day
Feeling anxious (eg fearing something bad is going to happen, worrying all the time about the baby, or feeling afraid to be alone with the baby). Physical symptoms may occur, such as heart racing/thumping, sweating, shortness of breath, numb/tingling fingers/toes .
Difficulty sleeping (aside from being woken up by your baby)
Lack of enjoyment
Feeling you cannot go out or do your usual things (such as socialising) Eating less or binge eating Feeling hopeless or desperate, or even as if you might harm yourself or that life is not worth living. If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, urgently seek help from a GP or A&E.
Feeling you do not have a bond with or love your baby
Occasionally postnatal depression can cause abnormal thoughts, including seeing unusual things or hearing voices. You may even have thoughts or think you hear voices urging you to harm yourself or your baby — if so, you must seek urgent medical help.
If you are worried you or your loved one has post-natal depression, ask for help — from parent groups, organisations such as Pandas Foundation (pandasfoundation.org.uk), support groups or psychological services. Psychological (talking) therapies may be available, or psychiatric support. Your GP or health visitor should be able to refer you. Sometimes medications such as anti-depressants are prescribed. Relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness, can be useful, as can exercise. Even a brisk walk can get the endorphins flowing — a natural anti-depressant.
Parents have a routine GP check-up at six to eight weeks. Do not be afraid to tell your GP if you are worried about your feelings or thoughts. Or tell your midwife or health visitor — they are not just there to weigh the baby. Family and friends, too, can be an amazing source of help. It is really hard being a parent and we should all be there to support, not judge, each other.
Dr Laura David works in general practice in north London and is a mother of two. Through her business, Smart About Health, she teaches parents about health conditions affecting them and their babies, helping parents feel more confident and empowered. smartabouthealth.co.uk