WHY JEWS DON’T DO MENTAL HEALTH AND WHY THEY SHOULD

I am a therapist for families and young people. Some time ago, a colleague of mine, a clinical psychologist from an Asian background, told me that his parents had never supported his choice of profession. They did not understand why he achieved a PhD but would never be a ‘real doctor’.

“If you’re not a ‘real doctor’ who can prevent somebody from dying,” they asked him repeatedly, “what’s the point of having a PhD?”. When he told me this I smiled to myself with recognition. In my work I have noticed that there is often (not always) a similar attitude towards mental health issues in the Jewish community. As Jews many of us have an immigrant background. This meant that, until relatively recently, seeking food and shelter have been our community’s main priorities. Many of our wider families have survived only by their quick wit, escaping danger and using their initiative to rebuild their lives. This meant that in the past, considering each other’s emotional wellbeing was an unwelcome distraction. If it is not going to help you avoid a pogrom, escape the Nazis or fight for your country, what is the point of noticing and responding to emotional cues? Mental health issues became irrelevant compared to the physical tribulations historically facing most Jews.

Some time ago, a family friend had a tonsillectomy and was unwell for several weeks. Her wonderful Jewish community responded the way they always do, with lots more chicken soup than chrysanthemums! The warm messages, visits and gifts were a welcome support and she recovered as expected. The following year, her emotional health suffered, she had a nervous breakdown and was admitted to hospital for several months following an attempted overdose. During this time, her wonderful Jewish community sent neither chicken soup nor chrysanthemums. Messages of concern were passed on about her rather than directly to her. And these were whispered in hushed tones. This highlighted the different attitude that we still have towards physical and mental health in our community. Perhaps this is partly due to our immigrant background and subsequent confusion. “I don’t understand,” the wonderful Jewish community may be asking, “If she is still able to stand up, pack her belongings and run out of the house, is she really that ill? Does she really need the chicken soup?”.

Yet ironically, just as prioritising our physical survival and overlooking emotional concerns became embedded in our culture, our experiences began to change. Threats to our physical wellbeing have faded and mental health has become a more relevant concern in our community. Despite all the physical comfort that we enjoy, there are more cases of mental illness in our communities than ever before. Yet because of our long history of persecution, our attitude towards mental health is hard to change. It is difficult to realise its relevance and to see how important these conversations have become.

Today, in 2021, it is impossible to escape our cultural history, nor would we want to. We can remember a time which was less safe and less secure and being physically fit was our overarching priority. We can remember a time in which mental health difficulties had to remain in the background or we could not survive. We are currently living in a time in which we do not have to battle physical impediments in order to live for another month. But many people around us are facing another type of struggle that needs us all, as a community, to fight to make it relevant. Today, in 2021, we all realise that when people are struggling and unwell either physically or mentally, they need our care, support and concern. Today, in 2021, we all realise that we need both types of doctors to save lives.

As we continue to live alongside Covid-19, one could be forgiven for thinking that our physical health is of prime importance and that it could be prudent to allow our mental health to fall by the wayside. But as the pandemic continues and winter draws in, our mental health is of more importance. The combined impact of anxieties concerning Covid-19, living in lockdown and ever-changing restrictions have proven to have a negative effect on our mental health.

If Covid-19 has taught us one thing, it’s our ability to be flexible and adapt to a virtual world. With mental health needing our attention more than ever, how can we mark the much-needed Mental Health Awareness Shabbat in this new world?

ONLINE SERVICES

Many Synagogue communities have adapted their prayer services to be available online. Whichever community you belong to, services can be found running before, during and after Shabbat. However you pray, you may find comfort in the liturgy and songs as well as in the words of communal leaders. These can create a sense of grounding and familiarity in uncertain times.

COMMUNAL EVENTS

We’re thrilled that so many communities from across the Jewish spectrum sign up to our mental health vision and many will mark the Mental Health Awareness Shabbat by hosting online communal events to raise awareness and educate. The benefits of these events are two-fold. Not only do they provide an excellent opportunity to teach us more about mental health and how we can support each other, they also help foster a sense of community and connection; reaching across the void of loneliness or isolation that many have experienced during Covid-19.

MINDFUL OR MIND FULL?

Mindfulness is the practice of being in the present moment, of literally being where our feet are. The benefits of mindfulness can be experienced both on and offline, alone or together as a family. Download an app such as Calm or Headspace to try a guided meditation or just by lighting the Shabbat Candles you can try to experience a mindful moment.

NATURE

Getting outside and into nature is great for our mental health and another opportunity to practice mindfulness. Go for a walk, get some fresh air and experience the world around you. See the various colours and shapes and close your eyes and really listen. Take time to smell the flowers and feel the textures of the plants, rocks or leaves. If you have young children collect foliage to make a collage at home. The best benefits of nature can be found outdoors, but if isolating you can experience the benefits indoors too. Research suggests that listening to nature sounds or seeing pictures of nature can help us relax, even at home.

CONNECT & RE-CONNECT

Shabbat can be a great opportunity to press pause on our week and take the time to connect or re-connect with ourselves or others. Ahead of The Mental Health Awareness Shabbat take some time to think about what it could look like for you. What do you need right now? Is it some time to yourself, to think, reflect or look after yourself? Or perhaps you’re craving some human connection and opportunities to socialise. Both time for ourselves and time with others is crucial to our mental health. So, whether it’s a Zoom or phone call with family and friends or turning off your phone so you’re non-contactable, use this Shabbat and the days surrounding it to connect and re-connect. Be ready to face the new week refreshed and ready for what life brings.

Download our MHAS Toolkit of resources by visiting jamiuk.org/mhas