We must educate boys to behave properly as men
In the aftermath of the murder of Sarah Everard, Metropolitan Police commissioner Dame Cressida Dick sought to reassure women that it is “incredibly rare for a woman to be abducted from our streets”. That may indeed be the case. But — as with antisemitism — it is impossible to separate the extreme, most appalling incidents from a bigger picture. Violent attacks on Jews by racists are connected to a far wider culture of racist actions and attitudes, and when women are attacked and killed — by strangers or in their own homes — the wider story of misogyny must be acknowledged and tackled.
Just as antisemitism has been magnified on social media, so has misogyny. Last week we reported the abuse suffered by Tracy-Ann Oberman: “sexualised, brutal, personal, fetishistic, endless,” for speaking up about Jew hate. While men who oppose anti-Jewish racism face abuse, she said, their ordeal is “nothing like the attacks on me and my sisters.” If misogyny and antisemitism go hand in hand, then the Jewish community must be at the forefront of fighting both. We have made great strides in improving women’s representation at the top of many of our communal bodies, once wall-to-wall men. But Orthodox bodies in particular are often still slow to listen to women or put their needs at the centre of their thinking. It is not enough to invite a token woman onto a committee or a board. Women need real power and influence, not patronising gestures.
We must be prepared to ask difficult questions of ourselves. How can we educate our young men to respect girls and women? The process should start in primary school and at cheder. Synagogues could ensure that when Jewish boys are barmitzvah — when they become Jewish men — a compulsory part of their preparation could be a talk from Jewish Women’s Aid. And it should be a normal part of boys’ upbringing to discuss how to avoid being the sort of man who bullies and belittles — because that is at one end of a spectrum, at the other end of which is assault, rape and murder.
A part of barmitzvah preparation could be a talk from Jewish Women’s Aid’