Memories of Rosh Hashanah enrich us today
THE CHILDHOOD memories stick in my mind the most,” says Daphne. Daphne Gerlis (nee Alge), was the JC correspondent for Grimsby for 20 years. Together with her husband, Professor Leon Gerlis, who sadly passed away nine years ago, she has two sons, four grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. Daphne and Leon co-authored the book The Story of the Grimsby Jewish Community. Daphne, who is now living at Jewish Care’s Anita Dorfman House at Sandringham, reflects on life in Grimsby during Rosh Hashanah:
“I come from Grimsby, a port of immigration where most people were Yiddish-speaking around me. I went to cheder and my family were quite observant. My mum spoke English to me but knew Yiddish; her family came from Poland and my father’s grandfather emigrated from Lithuania.
“We had lovely new clothes for Rosh Hashanah, all a size too big so we could grow into them. In our small community, I always felt like I had a foot in both the Jewish and non-Jewish worlds. The shul overlooked the school I went to. When I went into the women’s toilets I would stand on the seat and I could see my friends playing in the playground.
As the shul was so packed and didn’t have much fresh air, on Yom Kippur you could smell the smelling salts that the older ladies would bring out to clear their heads when they were fasting.
“I have a strong memory of helping my mother to make the honey cake, which she called ‘honey lekach’. She’d always make a sweet and sour halibut on Yomtov. I’d make the same fish and lekach when I had my own family. As Grimsby is a fishing port, we had great fish. During the war, my father was an air raid warden and was friendly with a man who worked on the docks. His friend didn’t like fish much but the skippers would give him the finest fish, so he’d always give that to my dad, who’d bring it home straight from the boat. Fish wasn’t rationed during the war, so there was always a shortage of it, apart from in Grimsby.
“I stayed in Grimsby until I married Leon. We moved to Leeds for his work, and then to London for 36 years where he was professor of cardiac morphology at the Royal Brompton Hospital.”
“It’s a bit different this year, but I hope to enjoy kiddush, apple and honey and a nice Yomtov meal together with fellow residents and I’m looking forward to seeing my family, too.”
Rabbi Menachem Junik, Jewish Care’s spiritual and pastoral lead, is instrumental in helping to prepare for Rosh Hashanah and the High Holy Days at Jewish Care. He says, “Reminiscence is so important as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah with our residents like Daphne, whose lives are enriched by recalling cherished memories from their childhood and younger days. By remembering the past, we connect to ourselves and relive the experience by sharing it. We also provide inspiration for ourselves and others.”
Jewish Care begins preparing for Rosh Hashanah in its care homes weeks before the festival, baking honey cakes and making decorations. It supports people from a wide range of backgrounds and experiences to connect, spiritually and culturally, based on the communities they come from, so that when Yomtov comes, residents feel present and part of these special days. Rabbi Junik explains: “Last year, we learned to adapt to all scenarios; blowing the shofar outdoors, on balconies and outside windows to keep up with the changing situation, so that as many people as possible heard the shofar. This year, I have been able to visit residents before Rosh Hashanah and we hope to celebrate together in person and also online, sharing messages to inspire us all. Every care home and retirement living apartment will have kiddush with apple and honey; we hope to have services on Yomtov too wherever possible. We also hope to facilitate visits to the cemeteries, which is a very personal experience for residents to visit graves of their families. These are cherished visits and memories and it’s so important to some of our residents. At Sandringham, some of our residents and those in our retirement living apartments will also do taschlich for the first time.”
Jewish Care volunteers will deliver meals on wheels for Rosh Hashanah with honey cake as a special addition to their regular meals. In community centres that are reopening, there will be Rosh Hashanah celebrations as well as a party with ‘JC Presents’ online.
As Rabbi Junik says, “It’s a festival that’s about new beginnings as well as observing the traditions. We’ve all learned to adapt, and we have the opportunity to start the new year fresh, moving forward together as a community, after a challenging year; we hope this will be a sweeter one.”