Time to change the way you look for love
IT IS that time of year again. The High Holy Days are upon us, a time for family, getting dressed up and thinking seriously about the year that’s gone past and the year ahead.
I’ve always felt quite lucky that as Jews, we get two opportunities a year to commit to some new year resolutions (and most likely break them a week later). For anyone who is single, saying yes more is the most important resolution to put on your list. Saying yes to a date with someone who isn’t your type, saying yes to going to a party, saying yes to an activity. Seize every opportunity to think positive and act accordingly and you won’t regret overlooking someone or something that could lead to you meeting your soulmate.
For many of us this is the one time of year we make a visit to synagogue (which by the way is an iconic meet cute if you ask me). Let’s also not forget the series of family meals that take place throughout the high holy days and highlight those of us who are single. I could write the script for this play as I’ve seen it 27 times before. If you’re at a family meal sitting next to your married cousin and engaged brother alike it feels as though there is a spotlight on you as though you’re on a stage — and it doesn’t blackout at the end of a show. My advice? Hold your own and bat off any comments, as though you’re Andy Murray at the Wimbledon final. You’ve got this.
The festive season is a chance to reset and reflect on aspects of our lives. When zooming in on your year in dating, I always suggest being honest with yourself about your dating escapades of the last year. Did you have fun? Did you get your heart broken? Did you experience everything and anything in between? Did you break any else’s heart? What could you have done differently?
Now is the time to let go of bad dating habits, judgements and old ways of approaching finding love. I am firm believer that being open minded when dating isn’t for the faint hearted. It takes someone who knows who they truly are to challenge themselves to step out of their comfort zone and let curiosity take the lead. I dare you to give potential suitors a chance before judging their story when you’ve not even read the whole book.
To those of you in relationships, engaged or married the festive period is a time to perform acts of kindness. Put on your matchmaking hat and start setting up your single friends. Building a succah as newly weds? Fill it with your single friends. We all need a wingman/woman to accompany us on the journey so be that friend to step up to the plate. I guarantee you they’ll be grateful and welcome (suitable) suggestions.
In essence, finding your soulmate is like finding the perfect honey cake recipe. Once you’ve found it you’ll know — it is easy to make, long lasting, the perfect combination of ingredients and just the right amount of sweetness.. And finally finding love is like breaking the fast at the end of Yom Kippur — refreshing, revitalising, and a great relief.
Be honest about your dating escapades of the last year. Did you break anyone’s heart?