IN FOCUS How to help children express their feelings
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WELLBEING AND resilience are buzzwords that have become part of popular culture. The pandemic has shone a light on the need for us to safeguard our children’s wellbeing.
Numbers of children needing mental health support are rising, children’s mental health services are stretched, resources are tight and just when we think life might be beginning to settle, a new variant appears. We live with uncertainty, unexpected changes, and many live with worry and fear. The need to equip children with the skills to manage these difficulties is now widely recognised.
The early years play a huge role in creating a foundation for positive mental health. The development of our mental health, like our physical health, is a combination of our genes, our environment and our ability to look after ourselves. Just as we teach our toddlers to brush their teeth and wash their hands, we can start to help them develop the skills to support their mental health and resilience.
The earlier we begin, the more likely it is that this will become second nature. We can help children to understand and give voice to their feelings. We can encourage children to try again when something is difficult. We can teach children to play well together by encouraging empathy, sharing and kindness.
Here are some tips to help your child talk about their feelings at home: G Ask open questions. These are questions which require a full answer rather than a “yes’ or “no”. Instead of, “Did you have a good day” where the child will usually say “yes” or “no”, ask “What was the best part of your day?” G Put Distractions away. When talking to children about their feelings ensure all other distractions are away eg no phones or TV on in the background. Show your child they have your full attention.
G Share your own feelings. Let them know you also feel sad and angry sometimes and it’s ok to feel that. When we do this, we role model to children and they learn by watching us.
G Create a safe space. Choose a special place, a corner or a chair, where you and your child can talk and share. Your child will start to recognise that
this is a place where they feel safe and secure.
G Build emotional vocabulary. Talk about the feelings in your child’s favourite books and TV programmes. Make feelings part of your everyday conversation.
One of the biggest barriers to seeking help is the stigma attached to mental health difficulties. We need parents and teachers to work together proactively to teach children that it’s “OK not to be OK”. When teachers, children and parents feel confident to talk about mental health, they can identify potential difficulties earlier and it becomes possible to put in support that could avoid a crisis later.
Heads Up Kids and Esther Marshall, author of Sophie Says It’s OK not to be OK and other Sophie Says books, are collaborating to work with reception classes and nurseries in this area. They will receive Sophie Says books and lesson plans, and parents will receive tools to support their child’s social and emotional wellbeing. All in the hope we can build a next generation of children who look after their mental health and have the resilience to achieve their full potential.