LIAR OF THE YEAR
MOST UNEXPECTED POLL MOST ABSURD VIRTUESIGNALLING HYPOCRISY BEST ‘I DIDN’T GET THE #METOO MEMO’ CELEBRITY
Wow, what a year. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve spent the past 12 months being dragged through a field of rather spiky corn. The two dominant themes have been President Trump and Brexit, and it’s hard to know which has been more divisive, polarising or liable to send liberal Twitter into the biggest spasm of volcanic rage.
But it’s been a great 2018 for me, with Good Morning Britain surging to new highs as we served the nation a daily Tabascofuelled fry-up of laughter, heated debate, big scoops (including the only two British TV interviews with my mate The Donald and the first TV interview with Thomas Markle) and withering Susanna Reid eye-rolls.
Oh, and Arsène Wenger finally quit as Arsenal manager after nine years of me begging him to fall on his sword, and just seconds before my spleen finally erupted.
It wasn’t all sweetness and light, though; my old friend Meghan Markle ghosted me, Harry Hill pied me in the face to avenge my mockery of men who wear papooses, Susanna found love with a 53-year-old football-loving man who wasn’t me, and we lost some people who meant a lot to me. Professor Stephen Hawking and Charles Aznavour, two heroes for very different reasons, who both gave me what turned out to be their last TV interviews, and nightclub king Peter Stringfellow, who gave me many of the most amusing nights of my life as a young showbiz reporter. It was also a year when enraged vegans, radical feminists and gender-fluid campaigners competed with each other to suck all the joy out of life. 4•
On a more positive note, I attended some spectacularly brilliant parties, engaged in some gloriously bitchy celebrity feuds, and nearly watched Gareth Southgate’s young England team win the World Cup again for the first time since I was 16 months old.
Here then are the 2018 Morgan Awards.
YouGov revealed I am currently the fifth most famous person in the UK with a 98% recognition rating, only trailing David Beckham (100%), Theresa May (100%), Prince William (99%) and Paul McCartney (99%) – and beating Prince Harry, John Lennon, Daniel Craig, Boris Johnson and the England Football Team (all 97%).
Ice-skating villain Tonya Harding, whose ex-husband and bodyguard hired a hitman to cripple her No 1 rival Nancy Kerrigan before the 1994 Winter Olympics. Tonya appeared on GMB to discuss the hit movie about her life, I, Tonya, and stormed out when I grilled her about exactly what she knew of the plan for the attack. ‘I knew NOTHING prior,’ she insisted, before ripping off her microphone. Four days later, she admitted to ABC: ‘I knew something was up, I did overhear them talking: “Well, maybe we should take somebody out so we can make sure [Harding] gets on the team.” ’ Altrincham Grammar School for Girls in Manchester banned staff and pupils from using the word ‘girls’ so they don’t offend transgender people. However, it will still be called Altrincham Grammar School For Girls. Ivana Trump, who spray-gunned me and