My wife wants to sleep with other men

The Mail on Sunday - You - - YOUR PROBLEM ANSWERED -

I’ve been mar­ried to a beau­ti­ful woman for ten years and we have a lov­ing re­la­tion­ship with lots in com­mon. We are per­fectly matched and our sex life is great. How­ever, re­cently she asked me if she could oc­ca­sion­ally have sex with other men who she finds at­trac­tive and men­tioned a cou­ple of our friends. She saw that I was ter­ri­bly up­set by her sug­ges­tion and back­tracked, say­ing it was just a bit of flirt­ing, noth­ing more. She also said that I would be free to do the same and it would not change how much she loves me. Is it un­rea­son­able of me to re­ject the idea? It is rather more than just flirt­ing. Most men and women would be pretty dev­as­tated if the per­son they love sug­gested hav­ing sex with some­one else. Also what might start with a bit of fun could de­velop into some­thing more se­ri­ous and if ei­ther of you slept with other peo­ple, one of you might fall in love with some­one else. It could also be dif­fi­cult when you are mak­ing love to each other not to think about them hav­ing sex with some­one else and won­der­ing if you are as good a lover as they are. Tell your wife how much you love her and that, for you, mak­ing love is some­thing spe­cial be­tween the two of you and you would be dev­as­tated if she had sex with other men. I think you re­ally need to talk or per­haps even have coun­selling with Re­late (re­late.org.uk) to work out why she feels she needs this, as it could cause big prob­lems in your mar­riage.

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