‘I HAVEN’T WATCHED AN EPISODE SINCE’

Contestant Robert Johnston ‘Having been a long-time fan of Come Dine With Me, I decided around ten years ago that I would apply to appear on it. I came up with a random menu that was designed to catch the producers’ attention rather than being nice to eat. I heard nothing for months, and had more or less forgotten about it when I was told they would like to film me in a few days’ time. So, like an idiot, I was stuck with a menu that I had never really tried with disastrous results that saw me come a well-deserved last. After five dinners in five days, all I had to show for the experience was the mother of all hangovers.

‘This was perhaps inevitable, as the other big mistake I made was to serve my guests cocktails on arrival. For some reason, I had decided these should be French 75s – a mix of gin, champagne and lemon juice akin to rocket fuel. The result was we were all half-cut before we even got to the table. There were then endless retakes as we inadvertently came out with swear words.

‘Mind you, it did make the evening go with a bang and, despite my disastrous cooking, we all had a lot of laughs. I freely