So, would you leave YOUR babyfor a week’s exotic holiday like Kate and Wills?
AS A MOTHER she has been branded selfish, uncaring, shameful and unusual. What nonsense. The Duchess is none of those things. And, quite frankly, I believe she has made totally the right decision. When my daughter was seven months old I took her on holiday to America. I had more luggage than a family of ten, what with sterilisers, bottles, formula, nappies, every possible piece of medical equipment I might remotely require plus clothes, sun creams, prams, car seats, sun umbrellas and a selection of toys. She screamed the whole way there, so much so that I contemplated drinking my own body weight in red wine.
The time difference played havoc with her body clock, and mine, and I found I’d left certain toys at home she wanted. It was possibly the most stressful week of my life.
The truth is travelling with a baby, especially when aeroplanes are involved, is rarely a pleasant experience.
Kate, we are told, wants to spend quality time with her husband, and I admire this because marriage, like children, is a lifetime commitment and you have to work at being good at it. And trust me, I’ve been to the Maldives, and you can only have a good time if you like the person you are with as, other than swim, sunbathe and eat, there is nothing to do.
The Duchess is being far from selfish. She has left her child with its loving and doting grandparents; she hasn’t dropped him off at Battersea Dogs Home. Nor is she uncaring – she has made a decision that her son is better off in his usual routine than being dragged to a small island in the heat.
The truth is that as a predominantly stay-at-home mum she spends many hours of quality time with her son, and probably far less quality time with her busy husband. And while it’s probably true that, as one of the thoroughly middle-class Middletons, her natural instinct may have been to rarely let her baby son out of her sight during his formative years, the fact is that Kate no longer resides among her own class.
She is now a member of the Royal Family, and while their ways may seem formal to her, she has embraced them wholly and willingly.
In the long term, George will benefit from her decision to make her marriage a priority because, as children will tell you, they are far happier in a household where both parents love each other than in a household where they do not. And this is a household where even a blind man can see there is much love.
We also forget that Kate and William are young, newly wed, new parents and face a lifetime dedicated to public service, so we know that it’s not easy for them to avoid the media. We also know what happened the last time they went on holiday. Is it any wonder they have had to take over a whole island to ensure they get some privacy?
My daughter will soon turn 18; she has no recollection of the nightmare trip to America. In the years between then and now there have been many business trips on which she has not accompanied me.
My advice to Kate? Don’t let guilt hold you back. Fast forward to when George is 18. So, he didn’t go to the Maldives with you, and probably missed many other official trips besides. But he will have your strengths, your independence and will have benefited massively from the loving home you and his father are providing. In fact, he will be just fine.
And who knows, maybe Kate and William are working on a little Princess!
WHEN our second child was a few weeks old I accepted a weekend’s work with a theatre company. Wanting to be professional, I left my baby at home. As soon as I arrived I realised my mistake. A child of that age will sleep through anything, she wouldn’t have been any trouble and someone would have cuddled her if she’d woken while I was working. Her breastfeeding never fully recovered, and she was the only one of our children who needed bottles before she was weaned. This was something she minded very much when I told her years later. Of course parents need time to themselves. When ours were young we would spend one evening a week alone.
But let’s face it: Kate and Wills are not going to be alone. If I was to be surrounded by security men, press officers and so on, I’d include a nanny or two and take my baby too.
We have an odd trait in Northern Europe that I call generational apartheid. Unlike those in more relaxed southern climes, we behave as if we really don’t like our children.
We park them with babysitters, send them upstairs when we have friends round. I sometimes wonder why the British have children at all, we complain so much when they’re home for the holidays.
And much as I love and admire the Queen, no reign is entirely without error, and I suspect hers perhaps came when her children were very young.
For instance, leaving the young Charles and Anne behind when she went to Australia for two months. How did they cope, knowing their mother’s subjects came before they did?
At school, I had a wonderful history teacher, Margaret Chamberlain. She often challenged our thinking, and one day criticised Elizabeth I for not continuing the Tudor line. We leapt to Good Queen Bess’s defence: she was far too busy being a brilliant monarch. ‘But providing an heir,’ Mrs Chamberlain said, ‘is part of being a good monarch. By leaving no clear succession, she let her people down.’
Raising the next generation of Royals was part of Elizabeth II’s job. Considering the chaos they went on to make of their own relationships, this was perhaps not her finest hour.
After that weekend without my baby, I never did it again. I took them all over the place: breastfeeding during a lecture I gave, or over dinner after Question Time. Our youngest visited the Richard and Judy studio at three days old. I was far happier, and like to think they were too.
Of course Prince George’s grandparents are competent: that’s not the point. How will the parents feel if anything goes wrong and they can’t comfort him?
Come on Kate! Your middle-class, nurturing family gave us more confidence than the Windsors. We don’t need you to be grand and cool. Take your babies (and nannies) with you next time, and enjoy yourself even more.