How to be the best grandparent
Play happy families with our ten top tips
New grandparents should have it easy. They’re supposed to get all the fun of parenting with none of the responsibility. The theory goes that they can turn up, pinch a few rosy cheeks and disappear when the nappies need changing. In reality, grandparents face far tougher challenges.
‘Offer too much help and you can be accused of interfering. Offer too little and your son or daughter might say you don’t care,’ says Susanna Scott of BritMums. So how can new grandparents strike the right 1 1 balance? Here are ten key tips. Don’t be offended if you’re not invited to the birth, or if you don’t see the new baby on his or her first day. If the new parents want some space, you have to accept it. It’s the same if they suggest you stay in a local 2 2 hotel or B&B, rather than in the spare room. Don’t overstay your welcome, as six half-hour visits can be better than one three-hour stint. But be flexible, because sometimes those three-hour shifts will come 3 3 in handy too. Remember that there’s a fine line between commenting and criticising – and that new, sleep-deprived parents can be particularly sensitive. There’s nothing you can do if you don’t like your grandchild’s name, for example. So pretend you do, and use it straight away. 4 Think about practical ways to help. Bring ready-to-heat meals, do a big shop, do some laundry, help build a baby cot, take the dog for a walk or just sit with the baby for ten minutes while mum and dad take a break. Parents say it’s often the obvious and 5 the little things that make the most difference. Don’t expect to be entertained, even if you’ve travelled a long way. Bring a good book. You might be sitting on your own on the sofa for hours while the new parents 6 work things out in the baby’s bedroom. Grandparents aren’t in competition with one another. Don’t try to ‘ out-gift’ or ‘out-help’ the other family members. If everyone tries to get along, the new baby will 7 be in a far happier home. Make your own house welcoming and safe for your new grandchild’s first visits. Have some special toys you can bring out; move or cover up any sharp-edged furniture, and watch out for 8 stray plug sockets or electrical cables. Keep springing surprises as the babies grow into toddlers and beyond. Pick up on the things that interest your grandchildren and try to find out some new facts about the topic for every time you visit or see them. When they ask how you knew, tell them they’re not the only ones to use Wikipedia (even if you used the Encyclopae
9 dia Britannia). Enjoy new technology. Gary Pope of Kids Industries says apps on tablets can really connect the generations. ‘You can get everything from classic Winnie the Pooh
Little things can make all the difference
to The Three Little Pigs on storytelling apps. Kids love the interactivity and grandparents 10 trust the content, so everyone wins,’ he says. To make new friends, consider grandparent and toddler groups around the country. The Grandparents’ Association is one place that lists them: www.grandparentsassociation.org.uk.