QUOTES of the week

‘An Election in which a traditional Left-wing party competes with a traditional Right-wing party, with the traditional result.’

Tony Blair predicts a Tory win in May, in remarks

he later said were misinterpreted. ‘The tent was too big and you spent the next ten years trying to keep the wrong people in it – the very rich, for example.’ former adviser to Gordon Brown, responds by accusing Mr Blair of abandoning Labour’s principles

after the 1997 landslide. ‘I’ll never forget that red dress – it’s just a shame it didn’t survive, too.’ Zoe Turner, whose life was saved by a tight dress that held her bones and organs in place after her taxi was hit by a cement mixer.

Neal Lawson, ‘Women are going to be fighting on the front line. Next year they might even play five sets at Wimbledon.’

Archie Coles, of Newport, reacts to reports that women are to be eligible for Army combat roles in

a letter to a national newspaper. ‘Facebook, the Twittersphere and the world of blogging are not informal journalism. They are the 18th Century mob in 21st Century clothes.’

Columnist Matthew Parris

condemns the habitual vitriol of online comments. ‘I just got a new phone and I lost my number, so can I have yours?’

asks Cameron Diaz out. (She declined.)

Child actor Ben Wilby, 12, ‘You can say goodbye, reflect on your life and prepare, according to your beliefs, to meet your maker or enjoy eternal oblivion. It is a romantic view of dying, but achievable with love, morphine and whisky.’

Academic Dr Richard Smith

says cancer is the best way to die. ‘We were talking about going on a rollercoaster ride when we got to Las Vegas. Now I’m not so sure.’

Plane passenger Mike Kaufman, after his flight made a dramatic emergency landing at Gatwick. ‘I have seen the man up close and, trust me, his skin is not that good. And he’s kind of squidgy.’

Benedict Cumberbatch gives his tongue-incheek verdict on George Clooney.