QUOTES of the week

‘Sometimes I think: Did I do enough?’

Battle of Britain Spitfire pilot Tom Neil, who went into action 157 times in 16 weeks and shot down 14 German planes.

‘Oh dear. Just realised Jeremy Corbyn has married more women than he’s appointed to great offices of state.’

Helen Lewis, deputy editor of the Left-leaning New Statesman magazine, after the thricemarried Labour leader gave the top posts in his Shadow Cabinet to men.

‘Bad as it is, I can’t imagine anyone thinks the answer is joining the Lib Dems.’

Labour MP responds to Lib Dem leader Tim Farron’s claim that party figures were interested in defecting.

‘I love the James Bond films because they are so distant from reality.’

Andrew Parker, director-general of MI5.

‘Sex scenes should be more subtle. I am British so I cringe at that sort of thing anyway.’

Emilia Clarke, star of ‘sex and dragons drama’ Game Of Thrones, calling for fewer explicit scenes on television.

‘There’s something so… British about complaining about bad manners and etiquette while being a terrorist.’

Social media user responds to British Islamic State recruit Omar Hussain’s complaints about his Arab comrades being messy, lazy, childish and dishonest.

‘Free sustainable bamboo knitting needles with skein of organic plant-dyed wool.’

Highgate Mums, a Twitter account that exposes the absurdities of the chattering classes in the North London suburb, reports on an offer seen in a shop in the area.

‘Bloody hell – after all that I’m only one not out!’

Former England cricketer Brian Close, who died last week, after he survived an hour-long barrage of 95mph bouncers against the West Indies in 1976.

‘The fig-leaf they are trying to pull over people’s eyes just won’t wash.’

Welsh Tory leader Andrew Davies mixes his metaphors.

‘It is a big number, especially for women. You can’t pretend you’re a girl any more.’

Cindy Crawford bemoans the fact that even models grow old, as she approaches her 50th.