I put my wife through hell... . but she made my career

THROUGHOUT my career, in cricket and beyond, I’ve been incredibly lucky with my marriage. I met Rachael in 2002 and that was the year my England career kicked on. Everything started to click. That was no coincidence. I couldn’t have done all the things I’ve done without her. She has helped me get over so many problems.

Looking back, I feel for the missus. She used to get the worst of me. She didn’t come out and celebrate when we won — that was with the lads — and I’d rock in at five in the morning, stinking and falling over. When we lost she’d see me drowning my sorrows in the corner. And then your career is all over.

I don’t think you realise until you’ve retired just how selfish you were. Not about batting or anything like that, I mean actually selfish as a person.

It’s quite embarrassing, really. There’s something strange going on when your wife is told, ‘You can come out on tour for this period of time and you can do this, but then we’re doing this tonight, and then we are going to celebrate as a team, and here are the rules you’ve got to abide by.’

It was two different worlds. My world — cricket, the dressing room and the lads. And then family. Even when they travelled with me, it wasn’t always easy to bridge the gap. Plus, I craved my own space.

You can understand why cricketers’ marriages break down. If the shoe was on the other foot, I might have just said, ‘You know what, sod this.’

Looking at my family today, I think, ‘I could not have done any better.’ That’s one thing I have got right.