Everything is fine in Boozyland... up until the point real life is introduced

THE beer buzz is one of the world’s most uncelebrated catalysts. All the possibility with not a whiff of sustainability or exit strategy. My own casebook includes the morning I bought a massive house in Chelsea, which I never moved into before selling it to George Michael.

Add to that various major car purchases, like the time my wife Tash and I were particularly buzzing one morning in Italy and decided to go to bid on James Coburn’s old Ferrari California Spyder, which I had no intention of going near.

It was tatty and scratched, but two hours later, there I was sitting with my hand in the air as the hammer went down.

I’ve always convinced myself that I really enjoy the taste of an ice-cold beer, along with the separation it brings via an evening of calm after another hectic day. But the truth is, as soon as booze passes my lips, I gradually disengage from myself and the world around me.

Everything is fine in Boozyland until real life is introduced. My tolerance and patience levels go out of the window, I never remember anything useful.

I don’t know about you, but when I arrive somewhere before drink is in play, I’m funnier (not difficult), more thoughtful, more tolerant, more of everything that’s good for me and everyone else.

And without drink, the next morning I’m good to go, without having to write off the first half of the day.