Why wait to water the flowers of marriage?

MARRIAGE is the ultimate proof that we human beings are the nuttiest bunch of idealistic romantics. Most of us marry, I’m guessing, because it makes us feel more secure.

But few of us truly know the answer. The same goes for why some stay married and some don’t. The odds suggest it’s a crapshoot at best.

I’ve been married three times. Does that make me really bad at marriage, or an expert?

Three couples I know have very different marriages, each successful in their unique ways. I recently discovered all have something huge in common. They’ve all undergone marriage counselling in one form or another.

When I asked a marriage guidance counsellor, Dr H, about marriage, she replied: ‘What a load of old stuff and nonsense. What a remarkably unworkable idea. No wonder so many of us struggle.’ Immediately, I’m gripped. ‘The simplest thing is to try not to let things get out of hand in the first place. Get to know the danger signs and look out for them on a daily/weekly basis. If you keep watering the flowers, they stand a better chance of living longer.

‘If you can’t be bothered to look after something, don’t be surprised when that something eventually gives up on you.’

Everyone would benefit from spending an hour with Dr H.

This is her cheat sheet...