Millie’s rap star husband: I’m so haunted by Dad’s suicide, I won’t have children yet
ON THE face of it they are a golden couple – the famous hip-hop star and his wealthy heiress wife.
But Professor Green has revealed how he and wife Millie Mackintosh have put their plans to start a family on hold because he is haunted by his father’s suicide.
The star told The Mail on Sunday that he has struggled with depression since his father killed himself, aged just 43, seven years ago.
And so fearful is the 31-year-old that he could follow his father’s tragic path that he started seeing a psychotherapist at the end of last year.
‘I think there’s a genetic link with depression and suicide,’ Professor Green, whose real name is Stephen Manderson, said. ‘My dad did it and his brother did it.
‘I haven’t yet had suicidal thoughts although there have been a lot of dark, difficult days over the years.
‘I felt it was right to take precautions by going to therapy and trying to fix myself, because – being happily married – children are the next logical step. But I can’t escape the fact that I am a product of my dad and I don’t want to pass this on.’
In his dressing room at Wembley Arena, where the rapper has been supporting rock band Fall Out Boy in a series of sold-out concerts, Green – who married Made In Chelsea star Millie two years ago – says he is only now recognising how deeply his father’s death affected him.
‘I remember when my nan came into my room crying and told me that my dad had hanged himself,’ he said. ‘I punched the wall and this anger came over me, followed by confusion and then wondering what had been so bad that he had to take his own life.’
And he revealed that Millie, an heiress to the Quality Street confectionery fortune, tells him that despite his fears, she believes he will make a great father. ‘We’ve been married two years,’ says Green. ‘But I’ve always kept [my dad’s suicide] out of our relationship. There was one time early on when my nan brought out my embarrassing childhood pictures and we came across one of me and my dad, and I burst into tears. But it is not up to Millie to fix me. Only I can do that.’
The latest UK figures reveal that 4,850 men killed themselves last year – four times the rate of suicide among women. It is now the biggest killer of men under 45 in Britain.
In a bid to highlight the silent epidemic, the singer has made a soulsearching documentary for the BBC.
In the film, he breaks down in the arms of his grandmother, Pat, who raised him from the age of one after his mother left and his father became an inconsistent presence in his life.
Looking at a rare picture of him and his father together, the rapper is unable to hold back the tears.
‘My dad had an identical twin who died; his brother David killed himself in 2006, then his sister Susan died of leukaemia in 2007,’ he said.
‘My dad had been to the doctor because he was depressed and was on his way to mental health charity Mind when, if you like, he turned right instead of left.’
Professor Green: Suicide And Me is on BBC3 on October 27 at 9pm.