QUOTES of the week

‘Embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing, embarrassing.’

Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell concedes in the Commons that his U-turn on Government spending rules has not been his finest hour.

‘The best thing about the 5p plastic bag charge is that the cupboard next to my sink is now worth £672,348.’

Twitter user Elaine Ferguson finds a positive about the bag tax.

‘I found myself thinking, “I used to do a useful job and now I’m in a kindergarten where people are making animal noises.”’

New SNP MP Philippa Whitford, who spent 30 years as a surgeon before winning her seat in May.

‘I cannot miraculously shave my hip bones down just to fit into a sample-size piece of clothing.’ Size six model Charli Howard hits out at agency bosses who say she is ‘too big’ for the industry.

‘I think they must have thought my hubby was Guy Fawkes or something.’

Ivy Francis, whose husband Bert, 83, was asked to provide his details before buying a £15 box of M&S Christmas crackers – because they contained gunpowder.

‘A torrent of verbal ectoplasm.’

Labour MP Paul Flynn accuses Kids Company founder Camila Batmanghelidjh of not giving clear answers during a feisty Commons committee showdown.

‘Don’t get me wrong – the 12year-old me is disappointed, but it’s the right thing to do.’

Playboy boss Cory Jones as the magazine announces that it is to stop publishing pictures of naked women.

‘It should not hit pedestrians… hopefully.’

Tesla chief executive Elon Musk advises drivers to exercise caution when using the autopilot function on its vehicles.

‘I’ve had it for a long, long time but I love having it – it makes me really organised, and I believe that if your drawers are organised and tidy then your life will be organised.’ Lingerie tycoon Michelle Mone sparks a backlash with her comments about her obsessive compulsive disorder.