The coolest bar in the Caribbean
Jamaica has brilliant beaches and fantastic food but, as Max Wooldridge found, there’s only one place to drink
THE huge television in our spacious suite has more channels than there are countries in the world, but we don’t even switch it on. The beauty of the ocean provides our entertainment. Our suite looks directly out to sea, and at night we retire to a magical lullaby of waves gently lapping the shore, sparkling white fairy lights in the palm trees and the moon reflected over the water.
In the morning, we wake to those palm trees swaying in the breeze and fishing boats on the turquoise water.
We have a personal butler for the duration of our stay at the five-star Sandals Whitehouse resort on Jamaica’s south coast. He gives us a mobile phone that we can use to contact him at any time. And each morning he sets up a parasol and sunbeds stacked with towels for us, alongside an ice cooler with drinks of our choice.
It’s unlikely we’re about to go hungry, either – all meals are included. Guests can eat as much as they like, and judging by the size of several American guests, some have done just that.
With seven restaurants to choose from, we can dine at each of them during our stay. The cuisine ranges from seafood to French and Italian to pan-Asian. Once a week there’s even a chocolate buffet where guests can dip biscuits, marshmallows and fruits into chocolate fountains.
I’m a coffee addict, so the resort’s fabulous Cafe de Paris is a godsend. You can also make your own crepes here while a resident bright blue peacock parades outside.
Some evenings we enjoy the relaxed vibe at the resort’s martini bar. Three singing bartenders are the stars here. They are fast and funny and know how to make every cocktail going. One night, they deliberately sing out of tune as an American tourist tries to watch college football on the television in the bar.
It’s not just these bartenders – many of the staff at the resort seem to have been chosen for their sparkling and exuberant personalities. Of course, all-inclusive resorts such as this are designed for relaxing in the sunshine. But while it can be difficult to extricate ourselves from our loungers, we are also keen to experience a slice of Jamaican island life.
One day, we visit a very different bar, on an excursion arranged by the resort. A catamaran whisks us out to a floating
bar set in the middle of the sea. The Pelican Bar may just be Jamaica’s coolest watering hole. Accessible only by boat, it is made entirely from driftwood and built on a sandbank a quarter of a mile off the coast. The bar is the living embodiment of Jamaica’s original name of Land of Wood and Water.
When I meet the laid-back owner Lloyd Forbes, my eyes are soon lost in his wonderful grey and black beard.
‘You’ve got a great face,’ I tell him.
‘Yeah, man, I’ve been in magazines.’
Later, we sit on a driftwood walkway and watch fish glide beneath us. The rum punches and cold Red Stripe beer flow as we tuck into plates piled high with delicious lobster curry and coconut rice, and watch pelicans swoop in for their lunch.
Back at the resort, storm clouds are gathering on the horizon as we try our hand at paddle-boarding. It is not as easy as it looks, even on the calm blue waters that surround the resort. Certainly our attempts don’t look anything like the images in the Sandals promotional material. Maybe the Red Stripe at lunch is affecting our balance.
This resort is a romantic getaway so there are plenty of excited bridesto-be, newlyweds, couples enjoying their first break without their children, and second-honeymooners rekindling the old magic.
As everyone knows, lying on the beach can be tremendously stressful, so one day we visit the resort’s tranquil Red Lane spa. We flop out in the fragrant scented candlelit setting for some serious pampering with our therapist Crystal.
On another occasion we embark on an excursion to the beautiful YS Falls. It’s an hour-long bus ride to the site along bumpy country roads, prompting our driver Chris to joke that he has a PhD in driving – ‘Pot-hole Dodging!’
There are few other tourists at the secluded waterfalls. We have a guided tour before we venture into the water ourselves. We wade through pools and clamber over rocks until we reach some of the smaller falls. Then we fly off a rope swing and splash into the deep, refreshing water.
Who needs a TV when you’ve got all this?