You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

I won’t be going to Paul Allen’s yacht party because I haven’t been invited this year. Not that I’m bothered. Really? The Duchess of York sounded very miffed when she told me, at the Christian Hook private view, that she wasn’t going to the bash of the year aboard Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen’s megayacht off Vietnam this month.

I went down to breakfast at the hotel one day as we were filming Harry Potter and saw Richard Harris. I said, “Oh good morning,” and he said, “Oh f*** off!” Miriam Margolyes revealed to me at the Clapham Omnibus patrons launch that the late star wasn’t quite the Irish charmer we all thought.

I’ll probably get a lot of female attention because of this film… I’m looking forward to it now I’m young, free and single! Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards proves to me he’s an eternal optimist, at the premiere of the film about his Olympic glory days, just weeks after wife Samantha Morton left him.

They do get some highend items in here and the staff get first dibs. There have to be some perks to working in a charity shop! The Countess of Wessex tells me about the benefits of helping at The Duchess of Cambridge’s local charity shop – the Geranium store in Kensington – where the cast offs are nearly all designer.

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do – a woman’s got to do what he can’t. Hollywood star Jennifer Garner, left, sums up the world for me in one sentence.

It turned out restaurants weren’t for me. I lost a lot of money on my one in Dubai. I don’t want to talk about Marco Pierre White. Jockey Frankie Dettori admits to me, at the Palatinate Group’s tenth birthday bash, that going into business with Marco was not a good bet.