You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

My own children don’t believe me, but I am part Brazilian. I took a test. I spat in a jar and they tested it and it’s true, I am Brazilian. Cockney geezer Jonathan Ross isn’t so cockney after all...

I find myself up at 2am pinning a ewe to the wall and thinking, “I am supposed to be a luvvie. What am I doing here?” Martin Clunes’ lifestyle change still baffles him, ten years after taking on a Dorset sheep farm.

At some point, we really want a family but for the moment have a fur baby and we’re obsessed with him! ‘Deliciously’ Ella Mills, right, tells me she’s postponed children in favour of fun times with husband Matthew – and cocker spaniel Austin.

My builder boyfriend has been complaining that the vodka here is spiked and fake because it took the roof of his mouth off and tasted funny. We are at a gin bar!

Jo Wood has a giggle at partner Paul Scarborough’s expense when I bumped into her last week.

How do I want to be remembered? As a lover! Photographer David Bailey, whose conquests include Jean Shrimpton and Catherine Deneuve, was clearly keen, when we met at the Benbai Expo in Oxo Tower, that no one forgets his Lothario past.

A caller rang my show and just at the end said, “Jeremy, I think you can actually win Strictly.” Then she went on, “I was born blind...” Jeremy Vine jests about his Strictly performance in 2015.