You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

You needn’t worry, she’s been to Papua New Guinea. She’s seen it all before.

Gyles Brandreth reveals to me at The Oldie literary lunch what Prince Philip said to reassure him when the Queen watched a Full Monty show – with 18 almost-naked men – at the Royal Variety Performance. Of course I mind when people ask me my age. I lie anyhow. I am 19. Grace Jones – aged 69 – gets a little tetchy about her advancing years. I am happy to eat in bed. I have salt, mustard and tabasco on my bedside table. I like a bit of spice near me. Nigella Lawson was typically teasing when she confessed to having midnight snacks. I never eat venison – that would be like eating Bambi! Tamara Ecclestone, right, tells me what she won’t be having for Christmas dinner. When I felt an ache in my private parts I thought I had an illness and emailed a doctor. Later I realised it was a new pairs of pants that were too tight. Radio 2 presenter Jeremy Vine shares just a bit too much at a Pizza Express live talk. I was a chubby schoolboy when I auditioned to play Cassius in Julius Caesar. My tutor looked at me and said, “You mean Cassius who has a lean and hungry look?” Downton star Hugh Bonneville admits he’s wasn’t the slimmest lad at his boarding school. I did go to an orgy. I stripped off but pretended I was going to the bar or the loo so I didn’t have to join in. Prue Leith admits she had a pretty wild youth in France. I can’t imagine Mary Berry doing the same!