QUOTES of the week

‘First an earthquake in Swansea, now KFC running out of chicken. The end is nigh.’ Twitter user Dan Davies, after the fast-food chain was forced close hundreds of outlets.

‘In my version of Cinderella, when the prince says “Do you want to marry?” she says, “No thanks, ’cos I don’t want to be a princess, I want to be an astronaut.” ’ Actress Penelope Cruz admits changing the endings of fairy tales for her children.

‘I have a little trouble with compliance.’ Actress Frances McDormand, who attended the Baftas in a brightly patterned dress rather than a black gown.

‘That Versace dress was fabulous – you think I’m going to cover it up with a coat and scarf?’ Jennifer Lawrence responds to those who criticised her for wearing a revealing outfit on a cold day.

‘He wants to turn London into the last Sovietera capital west of Pyongyang.’ Analyst David Buik attacks Jeremy Corbyn’s threat to reduce the City’s power.

‘To these boys, you appeared as a god who had it in his gift to fulfil their ambitions. In reality you were the Devil incarnate.’ Judge Clement Goldstone jails paedophile football coach Barry Bennell for 30 years.

‘They have been overly mollycoddled and overwhelmed by a combination of reality TV and social media stars who paint a picture of perfection.’ Boarding school head teacher Douglas Robb’s verdict on today’s snowflake generation.

‘I’ve had bigger events in my back garden.’ Blenheim Palace visitor criticises its lacklustre Chinese New Year celebrations.

‘Sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore?’ Reality star Kylie Jenner wipes £1 billion off the app’s value after tweeting that she no longer uses it.