Space, where you can hear no screams

WHEN you’ve hit 40, the fear of accidentally being back in fashion is very real. Have I kept these jeans for so long that I’m suddenly ‘on trend’ by mistake, and I’ll get pitying glances like I’m the oldest hipster in town?

I’m always terrified that new headphones will put me in the danger zone, and local youngsters will be giggling behind their hands as I walk past listening to albums released before they were born.

British audio brand Kef enlisted Porsche Design for its Space One headphones – and the result is something that makes you look like a cyborg assassin. I haven’t seen anyone chortling at me yet, but it may be only a matter of time.

Kef’s got a good pedigree in big, alarmingly expensive speakers, and these wireless cans deliver crisp, rounded sounds, without the over-cooked bass you get on cheaper brands.

The built-in noise-cancelling isn’t up to the surgical hush of Bose headphones, but was perfectly good enough to help me walk past someone shouting my name, completely oblivious. Better still, they’ll go 30 hours with both Bluetooth and noisecancelling turned on, and it’s all simply controlled via buttons, rather than requiring some annoying app. Sound-wise, I’d probably go for Bowers and Wilkins’ pricier PX cans – but they’re a bit fiddlier to operate, and it’s a close-run thing.

The Space Ones are light, powerful, and decent value – I just worry that they might look a little too good for a man of my advancing years.