Billie’s ex: The cruel cost of my fight to be a father
It lost him his fortune.. . and almost his sanity. In a blistering broadside, Lewis star Laurence Fox rages at a divorce system loaded against men like him
AS LAURENCE Fox gathers his two young children close today, the low- key Father’s Day celebration belies what will be, undoubtedly, a precious moment. The actor and his children Winston, nine, and Eugene, six, from his marriage to Doctor Who actress Billie Piper, will spend the day together at his Kent cottage as he takes a break from filming the third series of ITV’s Victoria.
But the celebrations will be more poignant this year because, until last month, he risked losing almost all contact with his children.
For the past two years, Laurence, 40, a scion of the illustrious Fox acting dynasty and star of Lewis, has been involved in a custody dispute over access to his children played out strictly behind the scenes with his ex- wife, herself the star of Secret Diary Of A Call Girl.
It threatened to become overwhelming, not just because of the crippling legal costs which have drained the actor’s finances, but because of the incredible emotional toll. Indeed, the formal, drawn-out proceedings, which finally concluded in the Family Division of the High Court last month, prompted regular anxiety attacks – a condition from which he is now free – and drove him to his lowest ebb.
He says: ‘I was certainly in a very dark place at one point – at my lowest ebb. I almost felt like I couldn’t go on. It all felt so hopeless. With divorce, you immediately lose half the time you’d spend with the kids. That in itself is a mental health crisis. But, like everything, these feelings pass and you start to feel stronger with every day.
‘Men no longer feel comfortable talking about relationships, and for the men who bottle it, it can be disastrous – they end up throwing themselves off buildings.’
It was only the support of his family and the thought of his children living without him that helped Laurence back to full health and a position which, today, sees him resume his role as loving father.
The split from Billie, 35, started swiftly enough, with a quickie divorce granted in May 2016 in just 50 seconds on the grounds of Laurence’s ‘unreasonable behaviour’. But worse was to come, with two years of wrangling and court appearances to decide how their children should be cared for.
There was no third party involved but Laurence admits: ‘The emotional strain was dreadful. For six months I found it hard to sleep. I was in therapy for a while and it helped me cope with feeling raw.
‘Fortunately, I have the greatest friends in the world, and the most wonderful family. Just the thought of my gorgeous kids made me realise there was a life to be lived.
‘If I’d backed down, things would have been different. I understand why some men feel so hopeless they commit suicide and find themselves lying on the train tracks.’
Since then, the actor has heard many stories from other fathers who have experienced strikingly similar hardships at the hands of the family courts, where decisions and hearings are routinely held behind closed doors.
It has put Laurence in the unlikely position of a campaigner for legal change, determined to transform a family court system which, he believes, is ‘unnecessarily adversarial’ and only serves to benefit the lawyers.
His views are strident and, perhaps, loaded: one might think they reveal something of Laurence’s own experiences since his eightyear marriage to former teenage pop star Billie ended in 2016. But he insists his frustrations are aimed not at his ex-wife, but at the ‘flawed’ legal system, and are informed not only by his own experience but from other harrowing accounts of fathers going through divorce.
In his first interview since his recent court battle, there is no trace of bitterness, despite his strong, carefully chosen words. In fact, he looks tired and slightly dishevelled, with none of the glossy, slicked- back poise so often exhibited by his characters on screen.
In the smart restaurant of a hotel in York where he is staying as he films Victoria, he boasts impressive sideburns, grown for his role as Lord Palmerston. His checked shirt is rolled up at the sleeves, exhibiting his tattooed forearms: the word ‘Irrespective’ (‘My favourite word’), a rose and a fox designed to cover a previous tribute to Billie, which bore the title ‘Mrs Fox’ and the date of their marriage.
The pair wed after six months of dating on New Year’s Eve, 2007, in Easebourne, West Sussex, and had a ‘ hedonistic’ relationship, Laurence admits. Billie, who found fame at 15 as the youngest-ever artist to debut at No 1 in the charts with her hit Because We Want To, had previously been married to Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans, and was still finalising her divorce when she met Laurence during rehearsals for West End play Treats.
Indeed, Billie’s enduring friendship with Chris has been cited as a factor in her divorce from Laurence, a subject on which he will only raise an eyebrow and declare ‘no comment’. But it’s clear their contrasting backgrounds – Laurence’s father is the actor James Fox, and he attended the prestigious Harrow School, while Billie is the daughter of a builder from Swindon – had the greatest impact. It has been reported that their rows were tempestuous, with friends describing their relationship as ‘like EastEnders’.
Laurence reveals Billie’s mother Mandy lived with them for several years, which can’t have been easy. Laurence alluded to his mother-in-law at a recent gig to promote his album Holding Patterns, by dedicating a song to her, declaring: ‘I’ve got a beef with her, man.’
‘There are jokes written about mother-in-laws, aren’t there?’ is all
The emotional strain was so enormous – I just felt so raw
h e wi l l concede today. He is similarly polite about his exwife. ‘I’ve got lots of nice things to say about Billie but I’m t hrilled our marriage ended – it was a bad marriage. It took us years to get from “we’re not happy” to “let’s get divorced”. ‘We went to marriage counselling. In the end, it finished fast – the tone of text messages between us changed in days. But I don’t regret any of it – I sat in a hospital room while she had Winston by emergency caesarean and it doesn’t get any more real than that. ‘My kids need her as much as they need me. I wish her, as I’ve always wished her, love and support in everything she does. I hope she’s the best she can be as a mother and as an actress. I’d never want to stop Billie being the mother she is to the kids.’ The couple announced their separation in March 2016, and stated their intention to ‘co-parent their children with the utmost mutual respect for each other’. Laurence says they agreed to share custody, continuing the arrangement when one was working away from home.
An already difficult and dark period worsened when, within weeks, lawyers became involved in their custody arrangements.
‘I wouldn’t put myself on a pedestal and say I was mature, because certainly at the beginning I could have been much more grown up,’ he admits. ‘I have zero interest in playing the blame game.’
Laurence can’t talk about the specific details of the case. But the process, which involved mounting legal fees on both sides, was ‘horrific’. Moreover, Billie had engaged Prince Charles’s divorce lawyer, Baroness Fiona Shackleton, known as ‘Steel Magnolia’ for her blend of charm and determination.
‘The lawyers are the only winners in all of this. The money we spent is our kids’ future,’ he sighs.
While he recognises he was fortunate compared with many in the same situation, the financial impact still hit hard. He remortgaged the house, sold his motorbike and drained his savings. In the upheaval which so often follows a divorce, he lost touch with two close friends.
This crisis sparked his desire to change the system. With this in mind, Laurence backs calls for the introduction of no-fault divorces to avoid creating ‘ victims’ in the breakdown of relationships; further, he believes family court cases should be held in public to ensure parties are subject to ‘scrutiny and accountability’ over statements they present to the court.
In addition, too, he champions the introduction of children’s advocates for families going through divorce – to form an ever-present reminder to warring parents that they should be working in the child’s best interests at all times.
‘I get very emotional about this,’ he says, the tears threateningly close to the surface. ‘There’s this epidemic of silence among men who’ve experienced the family courts system and the anonymity it provides to anyone with a perceived grievance to air. I’m clear about this – it has to be heard in public. People get divorced. It happens. So why do we have a faultbased system which allows someone to feel like the victim?
‘You then end up in an adversarial legal system which encourages whoever it is who’s feeling victimised. The courts allow that to happen because the anonymity means there’s no accountability for what t hey’re saying, which doesn’t encourage them to be sensible or truthful. Ultimately, you’re in a process where you basically have to prove your legitimacy to parent your own children. It feels awful.
‘And because one can say things in private, there is no accountability. For some, the fact that it’s behind closed doors leads to undignified behaviour, where allegations of abuse can be thrown around without being backed up by the evidence that would be required in a criminal court, for example.
‘Let’s start positively. Why do we have to point the finger by saying whose fault the divorce is?
‘ Let’s have a no- fault divorce. Divorce, in my romantic vision, if done properly can send a positive message to your kids.’
I nstead, what Laurence has uncovered over the past few years has horrified him. An epidemic of men hung out to dry by a system which, he believes, is skewed against them. In the current climate, he says, they feel unable to stand up for themselves for fear of being accused of exhibiting the very characteristics that the # MeToo movement sought to expose.
‘I’ve opened up to people about what I’ve gone through and they’ve said, “You must talk to my friend.” It’s endemic – equivalent to the #MeToo movement. I speak to a guy every day who is on the very edge of being sane.
‘While #MeToo has shown that a significant minority of men are sexually rapacious, horrible predators, it has also meant that men feel unable to speak out against women for fear of being seen as predators.
‘In this family legal system of ours there is a significant minority of women who are very malevolent towards men. Children need fathers. To deny them that is abuse – real abuse – in my mind.
‘I’ve heard of situations where children are being coached, and deliberately alienated from their fathers, which should be a crime.
‘I don’t want dads to have to deal with this and spend their children’s futures on it. I want men to be able to say ,“# Me Too Sister, #MeF***ingToo.” ’
Clearly the process has left him with lasting scars. ‘Actually I feel really sad. The process didn’t need to be so long, drawn-out and adversarial. And ours was quick, because we have cash. I feel the children have been robbed of their young lives. It’s been half of Eugene’s life.’
Both Laurence and Billie, who now share custody, have moved on romantically. Billie has been photographed with rocker Johnny Lloyd, while Laurence has been dating radio DJ and television presenter Lilah Parsons, 30, the daughter of former Royal courtier Sir John Parsons, for the past nine months.
‘I now know what a good relationship feels like – I’m happy. I am me now, which is a f****** relief.’
Laurence’s role as DI James Hathaway in ITV’s Inspector Morse spin-off, Lewis, which drew up to 15 million viewers an episode, has now ended, but there are exciting career projects ahead. He will be filming scenes for the upcoming series of Victoria until October, and also stars alongside Mel Gibson (a ‘lovely guy’) in the forthcoming film The Professor And The Madman. When he isn’t working, the boys are his only priority.
‘ Winston loves nature and the countryside, and Eugene is a talented artist. We spend time together; we don’t structure it. We’ll spend Father’s Day together sitting in the meadow with the dogs – you don’t need much more.
‘ I’m not bitter. I’m profoundly grateful I get to raise my boys and spend quality time with them. But my point is that not everyone is as privileged, and the legal system enforces that. My message is what happened to me could happen to anyone. It is time it changed.’
Pointing the finger of blame doesn’t help anyone
You’re in a process where you have to prove your legitimacy to parent your own children. It feels awful
Lawyers are the winners. We spent our kids’ futures