QUOTES of the week

‘So, just to be clear, we are now going to have to amend the “unamendable” after the agreed amendable amendment acquired a sneaky sting in the tail.’ Tory MP Sarah Wollaston tries to make sense of the complexities of Brexit.

‘The meeting room is not the Colosseum. And, frankly, you are not Russell Crowe.’ Cheryl Giovannoni, of schools charity the Girls’ Day Trust, bemoans the behaviour of men in the workplace.

‘Just tell us what Vladimir has on you. Maybe we can help.’ Senior MEP Guy Verhofstadt tweets in the wake of Donald Trump’s behaviour at the G7 summit in Canada.

‘I’ll just step out of the way.’ The Duchess of Cornwall mockingly takes evasive action after Prince Charles is handed a power tool during a visit to a community centre.

‘Call a dick a dick, I say!’ Tory Michael Fabricant after the traditional dessert Spotted Dick was renamed Spotted Richard in a Commons restaurant.

‘I think you’re too bright to do this job… I think you should become a travel agent.’ Former Crystal Palace boss Alan Smith’s advice to Gareth Southgate when the England manager was a young professional.

‘They are behaving like 19th Century railway barons – they are pushing them back into being Victorian children.’ Baroness Kidron claims social media giants are exploiting youngsters.

‘In one night I received 600 rape threats. It was probably more but I stopped counting.’ Labour MP Jess Phillips reveals how she was targeted by internet trolls.

‘No eye contact. No direct questions. Don’t stand too close.’ Actress Rose McGowan’s demands to TV studio staff – she is promoting her #MeTooinspired memoirs.