officials are going to great lengths to ensure the Prime Minister’s upcoming Conference speech sees no repeat of last year’s Manchester Meltdown. ‘The stage is going to be a lot higher, so that will deter intruders,’ one tells me. ‘We’re also going to project on the backdrop, to prevent anything falling off. And we’re going to be making sure she’s in bed nice and early to protect her voice. No more midnight receptions.’ What could possibly go wrong?