JOHN

Cleese went into full Basil Fawlty mode last week when he launched a tirade about children. ‘They are just awful,’ he said. ‘Young people go and have kids and then spend the next 30 years looking after the little buggers, and for what? They’re a pain in the a***, cost a fortune, you’ve no control, and they’re never grateful.’

The Monty Python star is dad to Cynthia, 47, and Camilla, 34. Parents aren’t supposed to have a favourite but John, 79, made it clear that comic Camilla is the frontrunner. ‘I have two. One’s OK, but the other comes on stage with me and is absolutely marvellous.’