5 generations of love
It’s a story to warm your heart this Mother’s Day: how baby Bella is blessed with a mum, a grandma, a great grandma AND a great-great-grandma. Here they reveal how motherhood has changed over the past century...
BELLA BARTON is a very special baby. Born four months ago, she represents the fifth generation of women in a tight-knit family that spans almost a century and who all live within half an hour of each other.
Today, on Mother’s Day, a flurry of cards, flowers and heartfelt messages will pass between these mothers and daughters, with special tributes paid to the matriarch, great-great-grandmother Joyce Doidge.
Here, the women – from Eastbourne – each tell their stories of motherhood while exploring how it has changed over the past 100 years…
Great-great-grandmother Joyce, 93, was born between the world wars and became a mother aged 21, when her daughter Ann was born. Joyce also has another daughter, Wendy, now 69. I CAN’T imagine what life is going to be like for Bella if she gets to be as old as I am now. The world is constantly changing and she’ll have to face whatever life throws at her – just as I have had to do.
As a teenager in the Second World War, I was evacuated to Gloucestershire, where I met my husband, Dick, who was stationed in the village.
We got married in 1944 and Ann came along two years later. Being a mum was much easier in those days. You didn’t make a fuss about it the way people do now – you just had to get on with it.
But then I always had family and good neighbours close by – there was always someone to turn to. I never felt I had to do anything on my own. Families are much more scattered today, so maybe that is what makes it harder.
People seem lonelier too, young and old, and probably for the same reason. Recently, I was chatting to a neighbour who said: ‘The time goes so slow.’ That’s not how I feel – if anything it passes too quickly. But then, loneliness isn’t something I’ve ever had to deal with. With a family our size, there’s always someone popping in or phoning up to check I’m OK.
We’ve shared some wonderful moments – there have been so many weddings and new babies over the years. And, of course, we’ll all get together for Bella’s christening.
But there have been desperately sad times too. I’ve lost two sisters and a brother, and Dick passed away six years ago when he was 93. I still miss him.
Seeing my daughter Ann widowed was awful. But even more terrible was having to watch my granddaughter Helen bury a child. We lost Josie ten years ago when she was just 13 – she had cancer. But through every loss we’ve always looked out for each other.
No one in our family has ever had to go through anything alone. And it’ll be the same for Bella. In that respect, she’s starting life with everything she’ll ever need. Great-grandmother Ann Nash, 72, has four daughters: Helen, 52, Sue, 50, Sarah, 47, and Vicky, 42. She ran a bed-and-breakfast until she retired three years ago. I DON’T feel anywhere near old enough to be a great-grandma, but what a lovely thing it is to witness my own daughter, Helen, enjoying the great joy of becoming a grandmother herself.
She is so proud of little Bella – it takes me back to when Helen made me a granny and the special bond I had with her children.
Being a grandmother is very different to motherhood, which comes with endless responsibilities. It’s an old cliche, but the wonderful thing about grandchildren is you can enjoy them and then cheerfully hand them back.
Sadly, we lost Helen’s eldest girl, Josie, to childhood cancer ten years ago. Time eases the pain but her death will always hurt.
I think that terrible loss must intensify Helen’s pleasure at seeing her surviving daughter bring a new life into the world. All babies are special but Bella really does feel like a great gift to us all.
Bella is also an incredibly lucky little girl. She’s part of a family that goes back almost 100 years, including a great- great- grandmother who can tell her what life was like as a child growing up between the wars better than any history book ever could.
Bella’s world is going to be very different to mine. She’ll probably have a job that hasn’t even been thought of yet.
Meanwhile, her mum – my granddaughter, Laura – posts pictures of her on social media, meaning hundreds of people know what she looks like, yet probably won’t ever actually meet her.
I just hope that among all the online friends Laura has, there are plenty who will be there for her and Bella in the real world too. Nothing beats the friends who you see face to face, which I try to do every day.
That probably seems old-fashioned now, but spending time with family and friends is what makes me truly happy.
I look back at my childhood – I was born during rationing and money was tight – and I still think it was a better world than the one we have now. Getting a job was easy back then, and you didn’t feel the pressure to have all the material t hi ngs t hat modern generations think are the key to happiness.
I hope that the stories of different times we’ll all be able to share with Bella will help t o keep her grounded in the fast- paced world she’s been born into.
If we can teach her to be grateful for what she has, rather than growi ng up always wanting more, then she’ll stand a good chance of enjoying a very happy life. Grandmother Helen Neale, 52, is an orthopaedics staff nurse. She has had two daughters. Laura is now 21, but her eldest daughter, Josie, died in 2009, aged 13. TO BE positioned slap-bang in the middle of five generations makes me feel proud, lucky and excited
What a thing, to see your grandma cradling your own grandchild