Tom wields deadly pen

JEREMY CORBYN’S rebellious deputy Tom Watson reveals his ambition one day to write a ‘political thriller’. Apart from sniping that some of schemer Tom’s more outlandish claims already make him no stranger to fiction, critics say he’d surely pen a political ‘murder mystery, with Corbyn’s career the victim and Watto himself wielding the knife’.

TORY Minister Nigel Adams coupled his resignation over Theresa May’s handling of Brexit with a demand for public money for step-free access at his local Selby station. The cash – £5 million of it – arrived the very next day. ‘If only you’d sorted Brexit that fast,’ joked the burly Yorkshireman when he bumped into the PM. Even careworn Mrs May had to laugh.

FIVE months on from declaring his own Government was a ‘s***show’, Johnny Mercer has revised his opinion. The outspoken Tory MP was overheard confessing to arch-Brexiteer colleague Mark Francois: ‘Well, I realise now I was just being wildly over-optimistic.’