Oh, to be a midge on the wall at Balmoral!
Scandal-hit Andrew and Fergie, who Prince Philip STILL can’t stand. Warring Wills and Harry – not to mention their wives. Boris and maybe even Carrie too. As the Queen braces herself to play hostess to them all . . .
AFTER visiting the windswept Balmoral estate for t he f i rst t i me i n 1848, Queen Victoria wrote in her diary that ‘all seemed to breathe freedom and peace, and to make one forget the world and its sad turmoils’. They are words which those preparing to decamp for the annual Royal pilgrimage to the Scottish Highlands would do well to remember.
For as the Queen welcomes her family and guests to her Aberdeenshire retreat, tranquillity may be the one quality in short supply amid the estate’s heather-clad Munros.
Rarely, in fact, can Her Majesty’s courtiers have faced such a volatile mix as the crowd set to descend, through duty or invitation, over the coming days and weeks.
Balmoral’s staff are said to be unflappable – but even they will have been making additional preparations for the fireworks which could ensue as the stage is firmly set for a family reunion unlike any other.
Prince Andrew arrived yesterday, mired in a fresh set of seedy allegations linked to the disgraced American billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who was found dead in his prison cell yesterday while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.
With Andrew was his former wife, the Duchess of York, who has been re-admitted into the Royal fold after years of exile. Yet relations with her ex father-in-law, Prince Philip, remain decidedly frosty.
The bond between William and Harry is said to have come under considerable strain and it’s not at all clear how long their wives wish to spend in each other’s company.
Then there is the most colourful guest, Boris Johnson, who could be the first Prime Minister to bring to Balmoral not a wife, but a ‘First Girlfriend’. He is still technically married to his second wife Marina Wheeler.
Is it another moral quandary for the Queen? Or could Boris prove a ray of sunshine amid the relentless Highland drizzle and persistent summer midges?
THE ‘BIG REST’ – BUT WILL IT BE RUINED BY BREXIT?
KNOWN as ‘the big rest’, the Queen’s trip to her 50,000-acre Scottish estate is a chance for her to relax, to horse ride and to walk her ‘dorgis’ Vulcan and Candy – corgi and dachshund crossbreeds. But thanks to the political tumult, and the necessity of appointing a new Prime Minister, her break started late.
There have been concerns it could end prematurely, too, if Brexit negotiations provoke a constitutional crisis and a vote of no confidence in Mr Johnson. Fortunately, it appears this won’t be necessary – Edward Young, the Queen’s private secretary, has been in talks with senior civil servants in a bid to keep Her Majesty’s holiday intact.
BORIS AND THE ‘FIRST GIRLFRIEND’
BALMORAL’S courtiers have hosted countless prime ministers – and the mood is clear. As one told The Mail on Sunday: ‘ We’ve never had a Boris before.’
The PM is traditionally invited to stay for a weekend in early September but Boris is set to break new ground – in more than one respect.
He has already broken protocol by revealing a private conversation with the Queen, telling Downing Street staff she said, ‘I don’t know why anyone would want the job [ as PM]’ when they met at Buckingham Palace.
But staff are also preparing to host Carrie Symonds should she choose to join him – the first time a British leader has attended with a partner who is not their spouse.
Downing Street has refused to confirm whether the 31-year-old will attend but have also not ruled it out. Her presence is unlikely to pose a problem – as long as Boris refrains from wine-fuelled rows.
The monarch has played hostess to 13 prime ministers at Balmoral so far, and their experiences vary.
Harold Wilson adapted well, offering to collect wood for Her Majesty’s fire. But Margaret Thatcher used to dread the visit, which she described as ‘purgatory’ and which required her to join the Queen on outdoor hikes. Terrified of being late, she would arrive early and tell her driver to park in a lay-by until the allotted time.
She later sent the Queen a pair of rubber gloves as a Christmas present after being surprised to see Her Majesty washing up after a barbecue with her bare hands.
SEETHING SIBLINGS MAY STAY APART
AS CHILDREN, William and Harry relished their time together at Balmoral, spending entire summers there with their mother away from prying eyes.
But today, it is understood William and his wife Kate may delay their trip until Harry and Meghan have returned to Windsor.
The Duke of Sussex’s latest ‘woke’ outburst, in which he declared that he and Meghan plan to have only two children ‘maximum’ in a bid to save the planet, may well have irked the Cambridges, who already have three. What will have fuelled their disquiet, too, is Meghan’s stint as guest editor on British Vogue’s September i ssue. The Duchess insisted it would have been ‘ boastful’ to appear on the cover – but failed to mention that Kate became the fashion bible’s cover star two years previously.
If their stays do coincide, the families could easily avoid each other. The Cambridges and their children will stay at the three-bedroom former gamekeeper’s cottage, Tam-na-Ghar, in the grounds of the estate, which was a gift to William from his great- grand
mother, the late Queen Mother. Prince Harry has chosen to take Meghan and baby son Archie to a cosy cottage on the Balmoral estate complete with log fires.
And if Meghan or Kate need space to recuperate, there is always the nearby five-star Hilton Craigendarroch Hotel, which boasts a spa and swimming pool – once used by Diana and her boys.
THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF FERGIE
SHE caused huge turmoil for the Royal family. And now that the Duchess of York is said to be rekindling her relationship with Prince Andrew, could further sparks be about to fly?
Her most vocal critic, Prince Philip, is said to have declared that he doesn’t ‘care any more’ about the pair’s relationship. However, there is still no love lost between the Duke of Edinburgh and his former daughter-in-law – he continues to blame Fergie for bringing terrible publicity to The Firm in the years following her divorce.
The Duchess of York was welcomed back to Balmoral two years ago as a guest of the Queen – having been stripped of her HRH title in 1992 – but the stubborn Duke is said to avoid her at all costs. Can he maintain such steadfastness at this year’s family gathering, or could all be forgiven?
In Fergie’s favour is the fact that the Queen is especially fond of her granddaughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, who are also likely to be in tow. The British public, too, tend to view Fergie warmly – which may prove to be useful to the reputation of the beleaguered Prince Andrew as he battles against emerging revelations about his links to Epstein.
It may yet be Fergie who saves him – and the family – from further embarrassment.
CHARLES INHERITS THE TITLE… OF HOST
HE HAS been waiting patiently in the wings for years. But now, just as Prince Charles has taken over a number of state duties from his 93-year-old mother, so it is increasingly falling to him to formally host guests at Balmoral.
Most, of course, will be fellow Royals, including his sister Princess Anne and youngest brother Prince Edward and his wife Sophie, Countess of Wessex.
And these are probably the least trouble some attendees. The Wessexes are close to the Queen and Sophie has described the monarch’s Scottish home as ‘magical’. Her two children Lady Louise Windsor, 15, and James, Viscount Severn, 11, spend a lot of time with their grandmother during the school holidays.
Charles and Camilla stay not at the main castle but at Birkhall nearby, the former home of the late Queen Mother, who referred to it as the ‘little big house’.
In previous years, Carole and Michael Middleton were invited to Birkhall and were received by the Queen, who drove them around the grounds in her Land Rover.
Formal state duties – for Charles and the Queen – are inescapable, even hundreds of miles away from the seat of Government. Both receive a daily Red Box of Government documents which require their attention.
HANGING OUT WITH THE LOCALS
THE sight of a diminutive old lady browsing the shelves of the local convenience store, immaculately dressed in a headscarf, kilt and Pringle cardigan, is not uncommon in the town of Braemar during the summer months.
But this is no ordinary shopper – rather, it’s The Sovereign of the Order of the Thistle, or alternatively, the Chief of the Chiefs, just two of the grand titles the monarch holds in Scotland.
The Queen, who takes her duties as the local laird extremely seriously, pops in from time to time to chat to the locals and regularly attends the Sunday service at Crathie Kirk. To celebrate her Scottish connections, the Queen hosts the annual Ghillies Ball in Balmoral’s Castle Ballroom – an opportunity to indulge her love of Scottish country dancing.
She also enjoys The Braemar Gathering – the most popular event in the Highland Games calendar – which has been described by the Queen’s grandson Peter Phillips as ‘a sort of world athletics championships of a bygone age’. Not that the Queen competes; she simply attends for an hour.
Highlights for spectators ( although not Cherie Blair, who was spotted yawning) i nclude watching events like the tug of war, putting the stone and tossing the caber against the backdrop of the Cairngorm mountains.
JUST WATCH WHAT YOU PACK, CARRIE
FORMALITY reigned when the Queen Mother was still alive but things have loosened up a bit in recent years – most notably, it appears, in terms of alcohol consumption. Guests are expected to dress for a formal dinner at 8.30pm, but the pre- dinner cocktails are designed to ensure that conversation is always lively.
A black- t i e dinner i s always arranged in honour of the Prime Minister during their visit, and Labour leader Tony Blair, who was in No 10 for ten years, wrote that ‘the main blessing was the drink before dinner – it was rocket fuel’.
But guests ( including, perhaps most importantly, Carrie Symonds) should pay heed: Balmoral staff unpack guests’ suitcases.
Blair’s wife Cherie wrote in her autobiography that she became pregnant with her fourth child, Leo, after being ‘too embarrassed’ to take contraceptives to Balmoral for fear t hat t hey would be unpacked by a maid.
Boris, take note.
WILL MEGHAN COPE WITH BLOOD SPORTS?
FORMER Prime Minister David Cameron famously loves to ‘chillax’ – but at Balmoral there was simply no time, he complained, because the Royals are so fond of outdoor pursuits.
Picnics and barbecues take place daily – regardless of the notoriously fickle Highland weather – and rarely i nvolve staff, with t he Queen insisting on clearing up herself. So seriously is it taken that the Duke of Edinburgh designed a special trailer with compartments for all the barbecue paraphernalia – including a refrigerated section.
Prince Andrew once said of his father: ‘If there was a Michelin star for things cooked on a grill in a field, the Duke of Edinburgh would have one, if not three.’
At the age of 98, though, the Duke does not take part in so many excursions these days.
For picnics, a favourite spot is along the picturesque banks of Loch Muick. But it is hunting which is perhaps the biggest passion.
The Queen was taught how to stalk deer by the late Margaret Rhodes, her cousin and best friend.
In her autobiography, Mrs Rhodes described hiking around the Highlands with Her Majesty, carrying their packed lunch of cold meat and fruit in canvas bags. ‘It was always fun to see a new stalker,’ Mrs Rhodes said, ‘as they suddenly realised just who that person crawling on her stomach with her nose inches from their boots was.’
Her Majesty shot her last stag in 1983 near to the Spittal of Glenmuick, in a spot that is now called The Queen’s Corry. But she still attends shoots and drove Kate to a grouse shoot when the couple visited a couple of years ago.
Meghan, however, who rather disproves of such blood sports, may choose to feign a headache.