QUOTES of the week

‘I am not going to spend my time begging the white man to undergo unconscious bias training – it’ll distract me from what does work, which is getting kids to learn their algebra, turn up on time and deliver.’

Head teacher Katharine Birbalsingh

claims that decolonising the curriculum will not help her pupils achieve later in life.

‘It didn’t go exactly as I thought it would but she said yes.’

Albert Ndreu,

who burnt down his Sheffield home after spelling out the words ‘marry me’ in tea lights to propose to his girlfriend.

‘My revenge for having to listen to that kind of patronising twaddle.’

Angela Rippon

on still working full pelt at 75 – 25 years after former BBC boss John Birt told her to step down to make way for younger women.

‘The world feels a whole lot more beautiful this morning.’

Chris Gard,

father of tragic Charlie Gard, after his partner Connie Yates gave birth to a healthy boy.

‘Forget the Chemical Brothers – we’re the Chemo Sisters.’

Singer Linda Nolan

remains upbeat despite the fact that she and sister Anne are both battling cancer.

‘If Leonardo da Vinci had been reborn in Dundee, the SQA would have knocked him down from an A to a C.’

City councillor Michael Marra

hits out at the exams board amid fury over some of its marking. ‘There’s only one thing better than a Nando’s and that’s a free Nando’s.’

Faisal Awqata,

one of thousands of people taking advantage of the Chancellor’s Eat Out To Help Out scheme.

‘It was an idea introduced to us by our therapist, the man who helped us architect our new future. It sounded a bit full of itself.’ Gwyneth Paltrow on using the term ‘conscious uncoupling’ to describe her split from Chris Martin.