QUOTES of the week

‘Don’t dare call them protesters. They were a riotous mob. Insurrectionists. Domestic terrorists.’ Joe Biden condemns Trump supporters who stormed the US Capitol.

‘Just watching White House Down. Who believes this stuff?’ BBC newsreader Simon McCoy’s sardonic tweet as the chaos unfolds in Washington.

‘Fat mums in pot noodle-stained leggings taking their kids for a day out at A&E to harvest Facebook likes because their darling little snot-covered Asbo fell over.’ Gareth Baines, chairman of the Clwyd South Conservative Association in Wales, tweets what he thinks is one of the problems facing NHS Accident & Emergency departments. He later quit.

‘You can’t do that – it’s classed as a picnic.’ Derbyshire Police comment to Jessica Allen, right, and her friend Eliza Moore who took their own tea for a socially distanced walk. They were each fined £200. ‘What we have now is the digital equivalent of the medieval mob roaming the streets looking for someone to burn.’ Actor Rowan Atkinson condemns the online cancel culture.

‘You are number 14,222 in the queue.’ Ocado message to a customer trying to book a delivery hours after the lockdown was announced.

‘These bubbles will brighten your family bubble and provide an alternative vaccine until the real thing provides more permanent inoculation against the memory of last year.’ Housing Minister Chris Pincher comes under fire for his review of a £174 bottle of Krug champagne.

‘Anyone who still doubts the wisdom of Brexit needs only to look at the vaccine chaos unfolding across the Channel – and think again.’ Alexander Von Schoenburg editor-at-large of German newspaper Bild.