The Mail on Sunday

QUOTES of the week

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‘I’m 85, but it looks like I’ll be 86 by the time I get out of here!’ Retired painter Ron Heath, who had to wait 20 minutes for a wheelchair after struggling to walk up a steep ramp while queuing in the cold for his Covid vaccine at London’s ExCel centre.

‘Frankly my home school went into special measures in week one.’ Mumsnet forum founder Justine Roberts admits defeat following classroom closures.

‘They’re now British fish and they’re better and happier fish for it.’ Commons Leader Jacob Rees-Mogg makes the patriotic claim amid growing fury at post-Brexit red tape costing the seafood industry millions.

‘It didn’t seem right to be drinking banana daiquiris on the beach when everyone else is cooped up.’ Liz Hurley insists she will not fly to the Caribbean while the rest of the country is in lockdown.

‘I can’t wait for the adaptation of Richard III, which will have to star a genuine hunchbacke­d psychopath, and for Macbeth he’ll need to ask Equity for a list of available regicides.’ Critic Roger Lewis hits out at screenwrit­er Russell T. Davies over his insistence that straight actors can never play gay characters.

‘Nobody wants a Zoom leaving do. It is soul-destroying.’ Jane Garvey who missed out on a big send-off from colleagues after a 13-year stint presenting Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.

‘If the BBC doesn’t mean anything to someone in Sunderland, it’s failing.’ Richard Sharp, No 10’s choice for BBC chairman, issues a warning over the Corporatio­n’s metropolit­an bias.

‘I remember saying, “Here I am doing nudity at 43. How is this possible?” ’ Actress Kate Winslet who shares love scenes in her new film Ammonite with co-star Saoirse Ronan.

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