Cool Jackie stands for every woman who’s had to deal with the impotent fury of petty men
AS SOMEONE who has occasionally dabbled in parish politics, I know what a tricky task it can be. Dark, rainy nights spent leafletting, endless glasses of warm white wine, interminable fundraisers in freezing sports halls, endemic halitosis, petty power struggles and a seemingly infinite number of very dull conversations about traffic management.
Most of the time, the inner workings of such things draw very little attention in the wider world. But that all changed last week when a fractious Zoom meeting between members of Handforth Parish Council in Cheshire went viral.
Posted online on Thursday by a Labour activist, it racked up views faster than Kim Kardashian in a thong.
By Friday morning, the two main players – fractious chairman Brian Tolver and his cool-headed nemesis Jackie Weaver – had become internet sensations, watched by more than four million people.
FOR those who haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth a de tour. In essence, it involves several fully grown men shouting like lunatics at an exasperated middle-aged woman as she tries to impose some sort of order on proceedings. Wearily, she tries her best to get them to calm down, only to be subjected to a series of spittleflicked rants.
‘ Yo u have no authority here, Jackie Weaver, no authority at all!’ int ones Tolv er, glaring into the camera in the dyspeptic manner of Emperor Palpatine attempting to crush Luke Skywalker using only the power of his mind. But the Force is strong in Jackie, and she fights back. With a few clicks of her trusty mouse, Tolver is silenced, banished to the limbo of the virtual waiting room.
This immediately enrages one of his sidekicks, a man called Aled Brewerton. ‘She’s kicked him out! She’s kicked him out!’ he squeals, jumping up from his sofa. Calmly and gently, Jackie suggests that, with Tolver out of the picture, the remaining councillors might want to elect a temporary chairman so the meeting can get down to business.
‘No!’ screams Brewerton, coming back into view, his voice quivering with rage. ‘They can’t because I’m vice-chairman so I take charge! Read the standing orders!’ he yells at Jackie. ‘Read them and understand them!’ Click, click. Once again, Jackie lets her fingers do the talking: Brewerton and another councillor, Barry Burkhill, are also banished to the virtual naughty step. Needless to say, Jackie has become a bit of a heroine. There is something about the calm, grown-up way in which she handles this trio of man- babies that is truly inspiring. She represents every woman who has ever had to deal with the impotent fury of petty men. Women such as Jackie are the sanity and the backbone of this country. They may not be as glamor
AN actress friend calls in a panic about the rollout of vaccines for the over-50s. ‘Why?’ I ask. ‘What are you worried about – you’re not 50 for a few years yet.’ Silence on the other end of the line – and the penny drops. ‘Ah,’ I say. And THAT, dear friends, is why you should never lie about your age.
ous or as well groomed as the ones who sit on boards or bear fancy titles or hold the ears of Ministers. But in some ways that makes them all the more impressive. Because they do what they do not out of ambition or desire for recognition (just as well, really, since rarely is any forthcoming), but out of a genuine sense of moral duty.
Make no mistake: it’s not the Brian Tolvers or Aled Brewertons of this world who get things done. They’re not the ones who get the lock fixed on the disabled toilets in the Town Hall, or who make sure Mrs Featherington gets a lift to her hospital appointment. Oh no, such petty irrelevancies are not for them. They’re far too busy wafting around on an over-inflated balloon of their own pomposity, reminding everyone how important and incharge they are.
The Jackies of this world, meantime, just quietly get on with it. Fixing, sorting, smoothing the path for everyone else, driven by nothing more than common sense and a genuine desire to help.
They deserve a big thank you from all of us. And at the very least an apology from Messrs Tolver and Brewerton.