Why everyone’s talking about... Haphephobia

REJOICE, for we can all hug again (‘cautiously’, Boris Johnson advises) from tomorrow. Unless, of course, you feel anxious about being embraced – a fear known as haphephobia. But why do some people feel this way?

It might be down to upbringing. Research has found that those averse to hugging tend to have parents who weren’t physical. Other factors are gender (men tend to be less touchy-feely than women) and culture. The British, true to stereotype, according to one survey, are the nationality who least like physical contact. Finns were the most cuddly.

What are the hughesitant missing out on?

Hugging boosts the immune system and releases the feelgood chemical oxytocin, sometimes called the ‘cuddle hormone’. Hugging in childhood is said to help develop the vagus nerve between the spinal cord and abdomen, thought to help build empathy and better deliver those oxytocin shots. Lack of hugs as an adult is linked to stress and depression.

So how can you get over a fear of hugging?

Psychotherapy, r el axation techniques or exposure therapy could help. There are even professional cuddlers or ‘cuddlists’ who, for £60 plus, offer an hour’s cuddling.

Sounds a bit suspect…

Practitioners stress that sessions are fully clothed and entirely non- sexual. With a hug, you need consent – so watch the body language to avoid crossing a line. In 2019, the boss of fashion house Ted Baker quit after staff complained his ‘forced hugs’ were harassment. Etiquette experts Debrett’s say hugging should be reserved for friends, not on a first meeting. Even preCovid, some psychologists warned of a ‘crisis of touch’ as the fear of hugs being misi nt erpreted was r educing human contact. So maybe try to touch more than your screen from tomorrow – unless you are genuinely haphephobic.