QUOTES of the week

‘To be honest, the main worry was about the beer running out.’ Gary Bimpson, who was among 61 revellers trapped for three nights by snow at the Tan Hill Inn in the Yorkshire Dales.

‘This is not an extension of sixth form college. This is a really serious business.’ Northamptonshire Chief Constable Nick Adderley as he reveals large numbers of youngsters are quitting a police apprenticeship scheme over violence and the pressure of frontline duties.

‘Postnatal people in hospital should have easy access to the call bell system.’

Royal College of Midwives is forced to apologise for its description of women.

‘The gaffer picks the team.’

Lisa Nandy, the new Shadow Secretary for Levelling Up, springs to Sir Keir Starmer’s defence after his revamp of his top team caught deputy leader Angela Rayner on the hop.

‘I’m not being entertained – I’m being culturally re-educated with all the subtlety of a steam hammer.’ Labour grandee Lord Blunkett rails against Radio 4.

‘I love entertaining but I hate cooking.

I use my smoke alarm as a timer.’

Author Kathy Lette admits her failings in the kitchen.

‘A curated worship routine with bite-size Bible passages.’

How Bible app Glorify, invented by British tech entrepreneur Ed Beccle, 22, bills itself.

‘The ukulele is a rootless, limited instrument with no respectable repertoire of its own, sanctified only by George

Formby strumming to banal songs.’

Music teacher Graham Wade, who thinks that classical guitar playing is being threatened by the popularity of the ukulele and other stringed instruments.