CALL ME ELOQUENT ANY TIME!

IS IT offensive to call someone ‘eloquent’? Apparently so, according to Cambridge academic Priyamvada Gopal (Professor of Postcolonial Literature), who accused her colleague David Abulafia of insulting the TV historian David Olusoga by describing him as such in an article about the acquittal of the

Colston statue vandals. The Cambridge Dictionary defines ‘eloquent’ as ‘giving a clear, strong message’. Sounds like a huge compliment to me. Unless, of course, you’re someone who has forged a career out of finding offence in everything. Postcolonial Literature? How about Professor of How Very Dare You?

I COMPLETELY agree with Bear Grylls when he says children who fail at school are often better equipped to deal with real life, and that measuring success purely in terms of academic achievement is one of the great problems with our education system. Like me, my daughter was never a straight-A student (dyslexia), but since she left school she’s the happiest I’ve known her. That sense of being a failure has turned to delight at the realisation that life is about so much more than being a success on paper. She’s finally free – and it’s such a joy to see.

PROPOSALS to protect England’s national parks include a move to rename ‘areas of outstanding natural beauty’ – a term dating back to 1942 – with the infinitely duller ‘national landscapes’. Why change something just for the sake of it? I’d rather explore ‘outstanding natural beauty’ – especially when ‘landscapes’ could denote anything from a mountain to a slurry pit.

THE person I feel most sorry for this week is poor Partygate investigator Sue Gray. If she finds Boris Johnson guilty, she’s toast. If she doesn’t, she’s also toast. She’s going to need a long holiday when all this is over.