QUOTES of the week
‘Me and Ms Jones.’
Microsoft Word suggests a new title to Billy Paul’s classic song Me And Mrs Jones in its inclusive language feature.
‘Why do you think they call it “Downing Street?”’
Comedian Milton Jones
after the Prime Minister is forced to apologise for a string of alcohol-fuelled lockdown parties at No10.
‘“Mate, you really need to apologise to Buckingham Palace” is the hungover text we all fear.’
Journalist Rupert Hawksley
jokes about Partygate.
‘I thought it was a work event.’
Boris Johnson
risks ridicule with his apology to the Commons.
‘Any British billionaire is dressed in M&S. Here they wear Dolce & Gabbana and so do their children.’ Socialite Caroline Stanbury compares life for the super-rich in Britain with their counterparts in Dubai.
‘Eloquent.’
Cambridge don David Abulafia’s
description of fellow history professor David Olusoga – post-colonial literature professor Priyamvada Gopal suggested the term was racist.
‘A company which feels it has to define the purpose of Hellmann’s mayonnaise has clearly lost the plot.’
Influential investor Terry Smith
attacks the brand’s owner Unilever for its ‘ludicrous’ focus on social issues.
‘Try cleaning the house, challenging the kids to a hula-hoop contest or doing a few star jumps.’
Energy firm Ovo
sparks fury among customers facing soaring bills with tips for keeping warm.
‘This will go down in history as the one that pushed Britain and America the closest they’ve been to war since 1812.’
Twitter user
after the answer to online puzzle Wordle was ‘favor’ rather than ‘favour’. ‘Concentrate on tennis and, a word of advice, crack a smile every now and then.’
Nigel Farage
responds to Andy Murray during their Twitter war.