The stench of decay and drift at United has never been stronger since the day Sir Alex left
PLEASE forgive the repetition. You will have read a version of this before. Let’s just call it Episode 458 — one for every week since they last won the title — in the ongoing saga: ‘What the hell is going on at Manchester United and how is it possible that things keep getting worse?’
The capacity of a club, once a byword for excellence, to surprise us with their weakness, mediocrity, chaos, lack of leadership and general sense of dysfunction knows no bounds. They can’t even get the hot dogs ready at half-time at Old Trafford any more.
If anyone thought United’s fortunes might begin to improve once executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward left the building — in his case that would be the club’s London office in Mayfair — they got quite an awakening last week. The stench of decay and drift at the club has never been stronger since the day that Sir Alex Ferguson left more than eight years ago.
It was a week that saw United’s brilliant young forward Mason Greenwood released on bail ‘pending further investigation’ after being arrested on suspicion of rape and facing further investigations into allegations of assault, sexual assault and making threats to kill. United have made it clear that Greenwood will not play or train for the club until further notice.
It was a week that saw Edinson Cavani ask for extra time off from United duties after he started Uruguay’s World Cup qualifiers against Paraguay on January 27 and Venezuela last Tuesday. The poor old fella needed a bit more time in his rocking chair, apparently. The prospect of playing an FA Cup tie against Middlesbrough was too much for him. If that request raised eyebrows, so did coach Ralf Rangnick’s decision to grant it.
CAN you imagine that happening at any other functioning club? Perhaps that is the point. United aren’t functioning. They’re malfunctioning. The Cavani decision makes it look like they’re running a retirement home for old nags who aren’t up to the day job.
It’s bad enough that they have got themselves into a position where their two main strikers, Cavani and Cristiano Ronaldo, are 34 and 37 years old respectively. That’s amateur night stuff, a team built on the commercial attraction of clapped-out galacticos.
At least Ronaldo gives the impression wild horses wouldn’t stop him turning out for United. He gives everything for the cause even if his everything isn’t quite what it used to be. If Cavani can’t face playing in a match that held United’s last realistic chance of silverware, he shouldn’t be on the payroll.
The chaos didn’t stop there. United have sent Jesse Lingard so many mixed messages over the last year that he is bound to be a little confused and after the prospect of a transfer window move to Newcastle broke down, Rangnick said Lingard had asked for time off ‘to clear his mind’.
Everybody wants time off at United, apparently. It seems to be catching. Except that Lingard then took to Twitter and said that the club had told him to take time off, not the other way round. Once again, can you imagine that kind of exchange, that kind of mutual disrespect, that kind of emotional incontinence, happening at a functioning club? Me neither.
We have to assume, of course, that Lingard actually wrote the messages on Twitter himself rather than some intern gone rogue. You may recall that a previous misadventure on social media saw him posting a Tweet — about playing a game of FIFA with Marcus Rashford — during the memorial service to mark the 60th anniversary of the Munich air disaster in 2018.
‘Your not ready for me,’ he replied in response to an invitation to play Rashford. A member of Lingard’s ‘media team’ was made the scapegoat for that. Whether he escaped punishment for his failure to use an
apostrophe is not known. Still, it turns out the Tweet was quite prescient: given how rarely Lingard plays for United these days, even his club aren’t ready for him any more. He said on Twitter that his ‘headspace’ was clear. His diary’s fairly empty, too.
The club are awash with stories of cliques and infighting and coaches being ridiculed and young players with inflated egos and old players who should be setting them an example but are role models only in the art of moaning.
Last month, they lost to Wolves, blew a two-goal lead in a draw with Aston Villa, looked uncomfortable in the first half of a 3-1 win at Brentford and scraped a home win against West Ham with the last kick of the game. On Friday night, they finished their week in style with that FA Cup fourth-round exit at the hands of Middlesbrough after a penalty shoot-out. Boro are a decent Championship side who have a first-class manager in Chris Wilder and a team that play with purpose and commitment. Not qualities associated with United any more.
A ‘technical issue’ prevented the sale of food and beverages at halftime. It’s a shame it didn’t prevent the sale of half the team because there are quite a few of them who don’t deserve to be wearing the shirt. This is a club where the tail wags the dog.
Yes, they are fourth in the league, but this was the year they were supposed to challenge for the title. They are 19 points behind Manchester City and 10 points behind Liverpool. If they do edge into the Champions League spots, it will be because West Ham, Arsenal and Spurs are run by executives auditioning for Clueless, too.
United were a club with purpose once. They were a club with drive. They were a club with a strategy. They were a club whose players had respect for the manager and, most of the time, for his coaching staff. Those days have gone. Those days, in fact, have never seemed further away.