QUOTES of the week

‘What we have heard are not just missile blasts, fighting and the rumble of aircraft. This is the sound of a new Iron Curtain which has come down and is closing Russia off from the civilised world.’

Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Zelensky after the first day of fierce fighting between his troops and Russian forces.

‘We wanted to see gender fluidity on the stage – not in the queue for the bloody loos.’

Female audience member at London’s Playhouse finds the ladies’ and gents’ toilets merged after going to see Eddie Redmayne in Cabaret .

‘Twosday.’

Nickname given to last Tuesday’s palindromic date of 22022022.

‘Never have our gardens offered us greater respite from the unremitting diet of tragedy and despair served up not only in the news but also television drama.’

Alan Titchmarsh bemoans the state of TV and says he seeks out lighter, uplifting series such as Emily In Paris.

‘William always worries about me meeting under oneyear-olds. I come home saying, “Let’s have another one.” ’

The Duchess of Cambridge during a visit to the Children’s Museum in Copenhagen.

‘She had a tough day at the office.’

New Zealand’s women’s football coach Jitka Klimkova after defender Meikayla Moore scored a hat-trick of own goals in a 5-0 defeat against the USA.

‘I wanted to carry on but I creak a lot these days.’

Cyclist Sir Jason Kenny, Britain’s most decorated Olympian, calls time on his career.

‘Tinkety tonk old fruit and down with the Nazis.’

The Queen Mother’s sign-off in a letter to a niece in 1941, as revealed in a book called Letters Of Note.