HOLY SMOKE, BATMAN!
Do you ever stop moaning?
When a film is as long as The Batman there’s only one question worth asking: is it really worth three hours of my life? The answer, disappointingly, is only if you really like this sort of elevated comic-book thing and, even then, only if you looked at Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy and thought: ‘Hmm, not quite dark enough…’
So in comes the reliably moody Robert Pattinson, here so much in ‘tortured soul’ mode as Batman/Bruce Wayne it’s almost comical. ‘I wish I could say I was making a difference…,’ he moans, droning endlessly on about the emotional strains of being Gotham City’s top crimefighter: ‘… but I don’t know.’
Thankfully, while he bangs on about ‘vengeance’ and we get used to the fact that it’s going to be dark, rainy and everyone’s going to talk in whispers for at least the first hour, somebody starts murdering the great and the corrupt of Gotham, leaving behind cryptic clues. ‘Holy smoke, Batman,’ as Robin might say if he were in this movie, which he isn’t, ‘you don’t think it’s The Riddler?’
And we’re off… albeit very, very slowly.
As director Matt Reeves – of Cloverfield fame – deliberately drains the screen of colour and Pattinson, less deliberately, drains it of energy, there are undeniable compensations. Zoë Kravitz is fun as Catwoman, an almost unrecognisable Colin Farrell is excellent as The Penguin and the always disquieting Paul Dano is spot-on as The Riddler, even if he does hide behind a mask for much of the time. Look out, too, for a good car chase and a lovely moment when you briefly believe this all-too-human crimefighter can fly, just like his superhero rivals.
But the underlying plot becomes offputtingly complicated, the tone remains annoying one-note, and one crucial climactic scene goes on so long you think it’s never going to end. Until, miraculously, it does… eventually.
Those in search of more grown-up fare should hasten to see Ali & Ava, the most accessible film yet from Leeds-born film-maker Clio Barnard and, for my money, her best. I absolutely loved it and could definitely see why it is a contender for Bafta glory at next weekend’s ceremony.
Set in multicultural Bradford, it’s the Shirley Valentinestyle story of a budding romance between two people from very different backgrounds: Ali (Adeel Akhtar), a British-Asian buy-to-let landlord with a collapsing marriage and a hyperactive passion for music, and Ava (Claire Rushbrook), a single mother – and grandmother – of Irish descent who’s been quietly and effectively rebuilding her life since ending her last relationship. She has studied for a degree and has a new career as a teaching assistant, which she loves.
The question is whether she can allow herself to trust a man again, especially a man like Ali who may be full of energy and charm but isn’t always as honest about his own situation – as we know but Ava does not – as he might be.
With fabulous performances from Akhtar and Rushbrook
and a screenplay from Barnard that authentically captures the humour of the situation as well as the inevitable complexities, the end result is hugely enjoyable and very charming.
Normally I love a good mountaineering documentary but, sadly, The Sanctity Of Space – the story of how two young American climbers attempted an unconquered Alaskan climb known as the Tooth Traverse – is not one of those. Lurching confusingly between mountaineering past and present and over-reliant on young, male talking heads, it’s an overlong and unrewarding old slog.