QUOTES of the week

‘So happy we can call them quarter-pounders and not 454 grammers.’ German-owned supermarket Aldi tweets its approval for a revival of imperial measures.

‘The consuming preoccupation with skin colour, the rage for swapping sexes, those 100-and-counting gender identities your police forces embrace: they’re all imported from your former colony, alongside Domino’s pizza and

Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.’ Author and commentator

Lionel Shriver on how the obsessions

of woke America have made their way to Britain.

‘Fexting.’

Jill Biden’s term for ‘fighting by text’ as she reveals how she and her President husband settle their differences.

‘I’m determined not to die over the Jubilee. I don’t want Meghan stealing my thunder.’ Dame Deborah James jokes as she continues her battle against bowel cancer.

‘We are sorry you’re not with us this morning but we are so glad you are still in the saddle.’ The Archbishop of York after the horse-loving Queen was forced to miss her Jubilee thanksgiving service at St Paul’s Cathedral.

‘Our world as white people is such a blissfully easy swim.’ Broadcaster Stephen Fry, who believes Britain is not as tolerant as it should be.

‘Neighbourhood policing isn’t about walking down streets kissing babies on the head and waving to shopkeepers. You’ve got to have an edge.’

Andy Cooke, the new Chief Inspector of Constabulary, amid concerns that forces devote too little time to catching criminals.

‘That hurricane is right out there, coming our way. We just don’t know if it’s a minor one or Superstorm Sandy.

Brace yourself.’

Top US banker Jamie Dimon warns as the war in Ukraine combines with surging inflation and rising interest rates.