TOILET TROUBLES? TIME TO PAY FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP

WE ALL worry about losing our dignity as we get older.

For a lot of people that means needing loved ones to help with the most intimate of tasks.

The truth is, when a person is no longer able to control their toilet habits, or lack the mobility to get to the toilet in time, it may be time for a professional to take over.

This is often the point when families will seek the help of at-home carers, or even start looking at a care home.

One woman I met tried her best to manage her mother’s incontinence problems alone, but found seeing her in such a vulnerable position too distressing.

‘Once I admitted how uncomfortable I was with it, I felt so much better,’ she told me. ‘I realised I just couldn’t change my relationship with my mother and become so intimate at this late stage in our lives. I realised then that we needed outside help.’

It is worth pointing out that incontinence is not inevitable in old age, but that age-related conditions do make it more likely.

For other intimate situations, such as bathing, there are some practical things you can do to make the experience less uncomfortable.

For instance, you can buy a towelling modesty garment that is open at the back and can be worn in the shower so the person’s nakedness is never exposed throughout the process.

You can put a seat or recliner in the bath, and play relaxing music, to help the person feel more at ease.

It’s also perfectly acceptable to use large wet wipes (available at chemists) and ‘no rinse’ body foam that you just rub off with a towel, so that the person can wash themselves without the need for a shower or bath.

And if your budget allows, consider taking the person to the hair salon for a hair wash once a week, or ask a hairdresser/barber to come to the house, which can be a comforting treat.