QUOTES of the week

‘The greatest stitch-up since the Bayeux Tapestry.’

Boris Johnson jokes about his removal from No10 at a party to celebrate his wedding.

‘Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Football... I’m home!’ Joke lights up social media after the Lionesses’ triumph over Germany ended 56 years of hurt.

‘In men’s football they would be doing exactly the same so, as a woman, why can’t we?’ Euro 2022 match-winner Chloe Kelly on taking off her shirt to celebrate Sunday’s winning goal.

‘Kelly is England’s heroine, bra none.’

Gary Lineker decided to delete this tweet celebrating the Lioness’s Euro 2022 win after some fans branded it sexist.

‘That’s it folks, the UK has finally run out of news.’ Dara O’Briain on the announcement that current affairs comedy show Mock The Week is to end after 17 years, saying ‘we just couldn’t be more silly than the news was already’.

‘Every day when I get out of a car, I thank the goddesses that I have strong thighs, that I’ve worked out to keep strong thighs.’

Jane Fonda as she launches a new fitness campaign at the age of 84.

‘How did we get to a point where stating the facts of biology could get you sacked?’ Attorney General Suella Braverman hits out at woke ‘witch trials’.

‘I think my mum will, I’m not sure about my dad.’ Liz Truss on whether her parents would vote for her in a General Election.

‘Every single one of my men has been a womaniser… and you can’t keep a man if he has wandering eyes.’

Five-times-married former BBC newsreader Jan Leeming

reflects on her love life at 80.

‘Do we need another sex scene?’

Former Doctor Who Matt Smith says he questioned the need for explicit scenes in Game Of Thrones prequel series House Of The Dragon.