BREX­I­TEERS OF THE WEEK

The New European - - Agenda -

PRITI PA­TEL

A year on for her sack­ing as in­ter­na­tional devel­op­ment sec­re­tary, the Witham MP is try­ing to po­si­tion her­self as one of Theresa May’s lead­ing op­po­nents. She’s upped her tele­vi­sion ap­pear­ances, hired Michael Gove’s former Spad James Starkie, the former Vote Leave re­gional press head, and has changed her Twit­ter bio to a Mar­garet Thatcher quote: “You may have to fight a bat­tle more than once to win it.” The funny thing is that no-one can re­mem­ber Thatcher ac­tu­ally say­ing this, and it ap­pears nowhere in the archive of 8,000 speeches, in­ter­views and other state­ments col­lected by her own Thatcher Foun­da­tion. The only gen­uine Mag­gie quote which comes close is “I fight on, I fight to win,” ut­tered on Novem­ber, 21, 1990 – the day be­fore she re­signed as prime min­is­ter.

GOD­FREY BLOOM

The former UKIP MEP, dumped by the party in 2013 after ‘jok­ing’ at their con­fer­ence that a ‘women in pol­i­tics’ fringe meet­ing was “full of sluts” who looked like they did not clean be­hind their fridges, has con­tin­ued his im­por­tant work on be­half of fem­i­nism.

When Delia Smith ap­peared on the An­drew Marr Show to back the Peo­ple’s Vote, God­frey tweeted “stick to cook­ing pop­pet, it’s what you do best”. At 69, he is eight years younger than ‘pop­pet’ Delia. What’s next for Bloom? Host­ing the Bal­lon d’or award?

BRUCE DICKINSON

The Iron Maiden singer has come out as a Brex­i­teer, ar­gu­ing that “Brexit ac­tu­ally opens our bor­ders” and

“will en­hance our eco­nomic ca­pa­bil­i­ties”. The former pub­lic school­boy con­tin­ued, sen­si­bly: “If mu­si­cians were run­ning Europe, Europe would run a lot bet­ter be­cause we’d all get on with each other and say, ‘Yeah’.” He added that soon “peo­ple will for­get about all this non­sense about Brexit and... we can all get on with do­ing what we should be do­ing, which is get­ting on with each other, trad­ing with each other, mak­ing mu­sic, mak­ing love...” So now it’s “bring your daugh­ter, all your other rel­a­tives AND the en­tire Bri­tish econ­omy to the

slaugh­ter”!

STEPHEN BAR­CLAY

The cab­i­net’s new­est ar­rival does not know the cor­rect date on which we are due to leave the Euro­pean Union. An­swer­ing ques­tions from the Com­mons’ ex­it­ing the Euro­pean Union com­mit­tee, the North East Cam­bridgeshire MP and keen Brex­i­teer said: “I am com­mit­ted to en­sur­ing, and the prime min­is­ter is com­mit­ted to en­sur­ing, that we do... leave the EU on March 31.” In fact, we are sched­uled to leave two days ear­lier, on March 29, 2019.

But why should Bar­clay need to bother him­self with in­signif­i­cant de­tails like this? After all, he is only the Brexit sec­re­tary.

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