BREX­I­TEERS OF THE WEEK

The New European - - Agenda -

4 NOSTRADAMUS

The French seer has been crit­i­cised by the Daily Ex­press for fail­ing to pre­dict what will hap­pen with Brexit – pos­si­bly down to the fact that he died in 1552.

Bri­tish psy­chic Craig Hamil­ton-parker told the pa­per: “What is most strange about the Nostradamus pre­dic­tions is that they do not ap­pear to have any ref­er­ences to Brexit.

“I fore­see a hard Brexit with May in power to the last minute when there will be a lead­er­ship chal­lenge – Boris takes the crown.”

Mean­while Jemima Pack­ing­ton, who uses as­para­gus to pre­dict the fu­ture, told the

Mir­ror that though fears about Brexit would prove “largely un­founded”, 2019 would bring a world­wide re­ces­sion with fa­mous Bri­tish brands col­laps­ing. On the plus side, she pre­dicted that as­para­gus sales would hit an all-time high.

3 Theresa May

The hap­less PM can­not get a sin­gle thing right. Asked by web­site Politico to name the Christ­mas movie she loves most, May replied: “My favourite fes­tive film is Hol­i­day Inn with Bing Crosby – it gave us the orig­i­nal ver­sion of White Christ­mas, and is a real hol­i­day clas­sic.”

A ter­rific an­swer, and one her re­searchers must have spent lit­er­ally sec­onds on Wikipedia to come up with. Had they ac­tu­ally watched Hol­i­day Inn in­stead, they’d have re­alised that it con­tains an ex­cru­ci­at­ing scene in which Crosby per­forms a song in black­face, while dressed as Abra­ham Lin­coln.

He’s ac­com­pa­nied by a white orches­tra wear­ing black face paint and slave garb straight from the cot­ton fields, while the white au­di­ence is served by blacked-up waiters.

Note to May: If you’re plan­ning a film about life in the new post-brexit Bri­tain, the ti­tle Birth Of A Na­tion is al­ready taken.

2 JEREMY HUNT

“A sec­ond ref­er­en­dum would be dam­ag­ing be­cause we are a democ­racy,” said the for­eign sec­re­tary on his trip to Sin­ga­pore. So let­ting the pub­lic vote is now un­demo­cratic, while the best place to de­fend democ­racy is in a one-party state!

It surely doesn’t help that four days af­ter the ref­er­en­dum, then-health sec­re­tary Hunt told the Daily Tele­graph that the Tories should “ne­go­ti­ate a deal and put it to the Bri­tish peo­ple, ei­ther in a ref­er­en­dum or through the Con­ser­va­tive man­i­festo at a fresh gen­eral elec­tion”.

But back then he wasn’t po­si­tion­ing him­self to be­come Theresa May’s suc­ces­sor by ap­peas­ing the Con­ser­va­tives’

Brex­ity base.

1 TONY GAL­LAGHER

“Those EU cit­i­zens who have built their lives in the UK have given huge amounts to this coun­try – and they must be made to feel wel­come,” be­gan a strik­ing Sun ed­i­to­rial on De­cem­ber 29. “So the Home Of­fice’s sin­is­ter de­mand that they ‘ap­ply’ to stay here af­ter we leave the EU, with the silent threat of im­mi­nent de­por­ta­tion, strikes all the wrong notes... there is a dif­fer­ence be­tween en­sur­ing con­trol of our bor­ders and straight-for­ward hos­til­ity.”

This is ab­so­lutely right, which begs the ques­tion of where the gov­ern­ment might have got the idea to turn up the heat on mi­grants in the first place. Per­haps it was from the news­pa­per which printed front page sto­ries like “1m mi­grants head­ing this way”, “An­other 330,000 mi­grants prove we can­not con­trol our own bor­ders” and “Draw a red line on im­mi­gra­tion or else” – all Sun front pages un­der cur­rent edi­tor Tony

Gal­lagher!

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