GREAT, WE’RE GOING BACK TO BARROW!
“No one likes us and we don’t care.”
So screamed a recent headline in no less a publication than the North West Evening Mail, the quote attributed to AFC Barrow boss, Paul Cox. Something of a staple response for cornered managers, it’s a largely meaningless platitude that is trotted out at all levels of the game, whether to simply play the victim card or perhaps attempt to engender a backsto-the-wall siege mentality among the players. Either way, the truth is frequently more prosaic, and can loosely be translated as: “No-one has really ever heard of you and subsequently has no particularly strong opinions.” Admittedly it’s not quite as snappy as the Evening Mail’s claim, but I’m not here to sell newspapers. If you’re reading this, you’ve already bought it, unless of course you’re sneaking a glance in the newsagents, in which case please put your hand in your pocket and tender the relevant coinage. As it turns out, the Mail was paraphrasing somewhat. What Cox actually said was, “I don’t know what it is about us – whether we are seen to be unfashionable, whether if people look at the place and the travelling distances – but you get a funny feeling that no one wants us where we are.” That much is true – it’s an absolute ball-ache to get to. Stuck on the tip of a peninsula, it’s one of the few towns that you have to effectively drive past before arriving at some hours later. Even the players don’t want to go there, preferring to train in the more geographically ergonomic Manchester.
Psycho
It’s fair to say that Barrow-in-Furness is one of the more insular destinations on the National League fun bus. Indeed, while enjoying a pre-match pint prior to Chester’s defeat last August, I was asked by the resident pub psycho if I should be in this country. Lovely stuff. As for Cox himself, my only opinion of him had been garnered from watching his interviews on BT Sport, during which I increasingly had the feeling that he needed a haircut (he famously made a barber-dodging pledge during Barrow’s long unbeaten run). This opinion changed drastically when he brought his team to the Deva Stadium recently, and displayed some of the most despicable tactics seen this, or any, season. With players throwing themselves to the ground and feigning injury throughout, the referee eventually started ignoring them, at which point they miraculously leapt to their feet. Frankly, if I want to see that sort of thing I can watch Match of the Day…
Rant
If you’re reading this on Sunday then yesterday I was at Sutton United versus Chester, which brought to mind an even more bizarre managerial rant. Prior to our home game against them early in the season, their gaffer Paul Doswell announced, “We will go up to Chester on Saturday morning by first class on Virgin trains with the hashtag #justapubteam. That’s what most teams’ supporters are calling us – just a pub team from Sutton – and we’re laughing about it. They’ve said we have a sh*t ground, sh*t players, sh*t facilities and sh*t food – then we beat them and we’re enjoying every minute. “The bigger ex-League Two clubs don’t give us enough respect when they come to Gander Green Lane. A lot of them are living in the past with their past glories.” Following Doswell’s impromptu rant, we rolled them over 4-0, back when Chester actually won home games, otherwise known as 2016. At the time, Sutton were still almost exclusively known for beating Coventry in 1989, and outside of the Non-League bubble, Doswell was largely unheard of. Now one of the faces of the season due to their extraordinary FA Cup exploits, he may have actually had a point. Indeed, unless we’re up against one of our traditional former league opponents, my driver ritually announces, “We should not be playing the likes of these.” He said it again yesterday before the game, prior to us getting trounced 5-2. And following Doswell’s candid appraisal of the cuisine, you’ll have to believe me when I say I didn’t have a pie. What were the odds of that?